My Roommate the Sex God

SWEET BEGINNINGS

Keagan

I wish I had tried to keep in contact with him.

Out of everything I had ever done, not keeping him in my life was the worst decision I had ever made. Three years later and I was still so in love with him that it hurt.

I never expected him to actually leave that long of an impression on me. I figured I'd find someone new, or at least gotten over him by now. I tried to get back into the dating game, but no one held my interest longer than it took us to get back to my bed. I even tried second dates, but there just wasn't anything there.

He ruined me in the best way you can ruin an already damaged person.

He loved me and sought what was best for me. It wasn't his fault that a better life opportunity came along... I wish I could blame him, but he gave me more than any mental health professional or bottle of liquor could give me. That took me a while to fully understand and appreciate, but now I know and my heart yearns for that stability again.

He gave me a hell of a year that slapped me into the realist sense of reality. I was going no where and I was wasting every gift life had bestowed upon me before he came along. Sure it wasn't perfect, but it was perfect for me. So no matter what, he would always hold that special place in my heart.

But now my student loans pretty much submerged me into a crazy amount of debt, so I have to work through my internship at this architecting firm just to make ends meet. Every day I thought about just giving it all up and going and finding Jamison, but that was insane... I really had no way of finding him either. I had long since lost any way to contact him. The only phone I had now was my work phone, and... Well I guess if I wanted too I could have looked him up through social media, but I was too afraid to check. What if he had moved on? Seeing him happy with someone else would destroy me. Plus I had been so lucky to have been picked up by this firm right after graduation, and if Jamison had taught me anything, it would be not to pass off on an amazing opportunity like this. But that didn't stop me from day dreaming what it would be like to find him again. How we'd hold each other and how great a reunion kiss would feel... Speaking of graduating though; the only person who came to see me graduate was Joyce.

Big Momma had insisted on being there for me since I had absolutely no one else to watch me walk. I never realized how alone I was until I heard everyone cheering for their graduate as they walked across the stage... So thankfully Joyce and her husband had loud enough voices to make me feel a little recognized. I would be eternally grateful to them for going, because lord knows I didn't need any extra sadness on my plate.

I kept in contact with her too. I had too. None of my friends cared enough to, and she always insisted that I come over to eat. Occasionally I'd take her up on it, but most of the time I just didn't want to bother her. I knew she'd deny it, but she had her own life. She didn't need a man child like myself taking up more of her time.

Today was exceptionally hard to get out of bed though. I felt like I had the weight of the world trying to hold me down, and I considered calling out of work but then I remembered that rent was due in a couple of days so I had no choice but to go.

I showered and got into my somewhat of a uniform. The only requirement was that we wear a plain black shirt and an apron around our waists. I just worked at a little family owned cafe, I guess you could say I was a manager, but I never really was handed that title. The owner just treated me as one, and I had a key... So... Yeah, basically a manager.

Though my life wasn't exactly where I wanted it to be, I was content. I had a career lined up, I had a decent paying job that covered paying off my loans and rent, and my apartment was within walking distance of the cafe so I didn't have to waste gas.