I wasn't born without a heart

***Days feel blurred now***

Hey! Sorry I took so long! I finally fished my competition! It took 3 weeks cause we of COVID 😭.

I also had a moment where I felt so tired and felt like doing nothing but I got my inspiration back!

trigger warnings!
-pls don't ruin ur innocent and read this if you young!
-there is suicidal thoughts!
-self harm
-harsh lay gauge!

Also I just wanna say I have been getting comments to update and it made me realize something-

People are actually my chapters and wanting updates! I feel so grateful and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize! I promise to be more responsible and update more! Thank you guys for supporting me! 🤧💜

On too the chapter!!

*Yoongi's Pov*

Everything is a blur for me...

My body moves in the same schedule every day....

I wake up....

I head straight the studio to work...

Meet with the group for dance practice...

And back to the study until the AM...

My body is there...but my mind isn't...

For some reason I actually feel disappointed. . . No one has really tried to bring it up. . .

I assumed something would happen. . . Anything!

Wether it's good or bad...

Lisa texted me a few times asking if I was ok but honestly I don't know if I could respond to her without lying....

Lying

Lying is something I have grown accustomed to.

I lie to the mangers when they why my songs have been so depressing lately...

I lie to the fans when they ask if I'm sleeping....

I lie to Jin when he knocks on my door asking if I have eaten...

I lie to Jungkook when he crawls into my bed at night asking if I'm ok...

If I were to tell the truth it would do more harm then good...

I could never tell them about the full plates of food filling my trash can in the studio.

I could never tell them about the thin and scaring cuts staring to litter my upper arms and thighs

I could never tell them my true feelings
Or thought on a situation...

And I know why I'm like this. I'm being a coward. I'm too scared to face my problems. I'm too scared that if I say something wrong they will turn against me. Not just my members. But my fans and family as well.

I'm just so scared that if I let this mask fall...

There would be only a cracked face behind it...

*Jimins pov*

This week has been so frustrating! It started off with Jin Hyung scolding me unfairly! I was being honest! If u want to talk about a problem you should at least CONFRONT the conflict first!

It all started cause he shoved Jungkook! He couldn't said sorry but no he just had to make himself seem like the victim!

What hurts more is Jungkook agreed with Jin hyungs scolding! He is completing ignoring me!

Taetae is the only one talking to me freely but even he refuses to meet my eye whenever I try to bring up my arguments!

This is so unfair!!!

(I AM SO SORRY JIMIN! He isn't actually like this I just need this for the sake of the plot!)

*Jungkooks pov*

Yoongi is shutting himself away again....

He did this around debut when we had little hope of actually being successful...

Back when we got hate...

I didn't know how to help him back than. I was so small and usually I was the one needing consoling. But now I feel like I need to be the one consoling.

When I hold Yoongi at night he seems so fragile...so small...so hurt...

I do notice how he flinched when I first starting entering his room...

I do notice the small blood stains appearing on his sheets...

I do notice how small his writs are compared to a week ago...

I do notice yet I don't know how to help...

I don't understand him yet I wish I could...

I wish I could learn what was troubling him and help him...

But he so distant and I can't help but feel he is drifting away...

Away from us...

Away from the fans...

Away from life...

I'm not that small young boy anymore.

I know something is wrong with Yoongi Hyung

And I'm gonna try to fix it.

No matter how long it takes...

U not alone Hyung...I won't let you
suffer alone...

745 words!
————————————————————

I'm sorry this was short but I kinda needed this to be short for the next chapter to make sense!

Thank you for supporting me!!

I can't wait for the next update because that's when the plot starts to thicken!

Rest well! And stay healthy! 💜