Yours

Chapter 1

Today I start a new life. I mean, literally start a new life. Away from all the pain and torcher that this city has given me, today is the day university starts, I’m officially done with high school and I don’t think I’ve ever been more relieved than I am today. The fan over my head is moving in full speed and the sun is that very bright shade of yellow that’s hitting my face right now. I know my eyes are swollen from all the crying I’ve been doing but that’s the end of it.

“I’m not going to shed another tear” I tell myself, very determined.

“Never again” I mutter while lifting my lazy ass out of bed.

The water is cold on my face and I splash it three more times before grabbing my toothbrush. My reflection stares at me while I fill my toothbrush with some paste and I know it’s mocking me. ‘You’re not pretty, you never will be.’ ‘There are going to be tons of pretty chicks in university and you’re going to be on the bottom of the list, because look at you.’

The warm tears that are sliding down my cold face don’t do justice to what I feel on the inside. There’s this tiny voice inside my head, that I’ve given fuel to grow and now it’s eating me, it’s doing more harm to me than good. But it’s not the tiny voice’s fault; it’s the people who were around me that said the same things, my head is just repeating other people’s words.

I have a quick shower, wrap myself in a towel and head out to my bedroom. I have already folded and kept the clothes I’m going to wear on the top of my dresser. I slide the bra on top of my bare chest, put on my underwear and walk towards the dresser to blow dry my hair. I hate how the water drips from my hair and makes a mess on the floor all the time!

I honestly don’t know what shade my hair really is, in the sun it’s this really pretty light brown but otherwise it just looks like a mix between black and dark brown. The last time I got a haircut was probably when I was thirteen years old or something because my hair literally is just straight and long till the length of my waist, no shape and no layers!

So I quickly blow dry my hair, put on the black lace top and dark blue jeans. Its half past seven and I was supposed to be heading out for the bus at eight sharp and I’ve still not eaten. My trip to college is just a mere four and a half hour from here, a whole new state, a whole new perspective to life and who knows? Maybe I’ll make some new friends….

I head downstairs only to find my aunt making pancakes in the open kitchen and I know she’s the reason life has been so easy for me until now. My parents died in a car crash when I was just six years old. The day it happened, I knew I was on my own. I had no one to go to except for my aunt who has always treated me like her own child. She doesn’t have any kids of her own and her drunken husband left her a few years before I had come into her life.

From that day, I never spoke about it to anyone. The people who called me their friends never noticed that something was wrong with me because I never showed it, although I always felt the reason they never noticed was because they never really cared enough or thought about me as their friend but whatever. Till date, no one knows whether I even have parents or not. When my parents died, I was left in isolation. I didn’t eat for days, hell I didn’t talk to anyone for years. I grew up to be delicate, fragile and hurt. If it wasn’t for my aunt, I don’t think I’d be going to university today. She has been nothing but supportive in whatever I have done. She might be my mother’s sister but after my mother died, she is my mother. That’s how important she is to me.

“Snap out of it, Aury.” My aunt says snapping her fingers in front of my face.

“I know what you’re thinking about, but it’s been so long since then. Please Aury eat up, today’s your big day!”  I can see the genuine smile on her face as she slides a plate of pancakes towards me. I know how happy she is for me but my heart doesn’t lie in leaving her here all by herself, but I really have to. I can’t stay another minute in this city and she knows it too.

“So did you end up going for that party thing last night?” I ask her, just to change the topic.

“Yeah I did for a while, after you dozed off very early to bed” she narrows her eyes at me and I know exactly why she’s doing that. Well I love sleeping, I could sleep anytime, be it morning, evening, afternoon or even if I just woke up from a good night’s sleep, I’d sleep again!

“Now hurry up, you don’t want to miss the bus, now do you” she says looking at her watch walking towards the door and I quickly gulp down a glass of warm milk. My suitcase already has been packed and locked, the only thing I really had to do today morning was to get myself ready for this day and a part of me doesn’t think I am, but I think that’s a feeling that’ll never go until I actually get there.

I take one last look at the drawing room before I lock the door behind me. I don’t know when will be the next time I actually come home because honestly I don’t have the money to keep coming home, neither do I actually want to visit this horrid place. If I ever step foot here again, it will be only for the woman who is standing in her red dress coat looking at me stepping out of the house.

We walk to the bus station and reach by 7:50am, to my surprise we actually made it on time. The bus has already been parked and there are people boarding already. I look at my aunt and I can already see that she’s opened that door of tears which I really don’t know how to stop. I really don’t know how to make someone stop crying.

I walk towards the driver who takes my suitcase with him and I smile at him, real big. I hope I didn’t scare him or anything, he probably thinks I’m an idiot. My aunt is still holding my hand and I know she doesn’t want to let go.

“I think it’s time Hilda” I mock her and she immediately has a smile on her face.

“Stop making me smile Aury, I don’t know what I’m going to do without you, can I go back in time become as old as you and we can head out for university together?” she says, wiping the tears off her face.

I can feel the tears down my face again and I curse myself because one of us was supposed to be the strong one and besides I kinda promised myself I wouldn’t shed another tear, look at me, I’m such a wreck!

 Aunt Hilda wraps her arms around me and I do the same. The embrace lasts a while and I can hear the smoke coming out of the bus as it gets ready to move.

“Call me when you reach there.” She says letting go of me and I rub the tears off her cheeks.

“I will.” I give her a small smile and walk towards the front of the bus.

At dot eight the bus starts moving slowly and I look out of the window to wave one last time to Hilda.

‘This is it. I’m finally out of the hell hole I created for myself here. I’m finally going to leave behind all of the pain that this city gave me.

The pain and loneliness I felt when my parents left me at the age of six. The pain I felt when Aunt Hilda got beaten up by her drunken husband in front of me when I was seven and I couldn’t do anything about it. The pain I felt when the pretty girls in high school made fun of me. The pain I felt when the only friend I ever had left me for the most popular person in high school. The pain I felt when someone said I was beautiful just for the sake of it. The pain I felt when I had my first and only heart break. The pain I felt which I hid from everyone because it was not worth burdening other people with my problems.

I’m finally going to start a new life and I don’t think I’ve ever been happier about it than I am today.’