Nineteen

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Joel's Point of View
"Only apologize if you mean it." Savannah responded.
"I do mean it." I whispered. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there to prevent all of this." I pointed all around the hospital room.
"And how could you have prevented this?"
"By spending the afternoon with you."
"Since when did we hang together outside of school?" She questioned.
"Since we-" I glanced at her, stopping myself. Her father had told us they were unsure of what she could remember. After all, she was in a coma for a few hours, and then woke up with the doctor saying she has amnesia.
"What were you going to say?" She looked at me.
I shook my head, staring at the ground. She whispered my name, but I didn't answer.
"Joel." She called again.
"I'm not sure how you're going to take this."
"Just tell me."
I smiled, forgetting a few seconds the situation she was in and remembering she was always a little demanding.
"Your doctor says you cannot recall about two weeks prior to this date. He doesn't understand why because usually the memory loss is more time forgotten." I began to explain. "We were dating, or are dating, well, it's complicated given the situation you're in."
"Are you saying you're not going to continue dating me because I'm not all here?" She asked.
"What, no!" I exclaimed.
"I'm joking." She chuckled. "We need some light in this room. The darkness is making me feel gloomy."
I stood up and turned on another light, then set back down, moving the sofa chair a bit closer to her.
"So we've been dating for how long?" She asked.
"A week."
"How did you ask me out?"
"We were at Jessie's house-" I stopped because she had a facial expression of confusion. "He's the drummer for Jorge's band." She nodded, and I knew she was already piling up a couple of questions in her head. "Most of us were drinking, and we were all playing truth or dare. They asked if we were dating and you explained that the same day we had only found out we had liked each other, so I asked you out right then and there. And-" I stopped, thinking about whether or not I should tell her what Esai had called her.
"And what?" She asked.

"And that's how we started dating." I replied.
I left her take in the information and waited for her questions.
"Have we kissed?" She asked, shifting her legs a bit. She was making fast progress in moving.
"Yes." I grinned.
She slowly nodded her head. "How do Jorge and Crystal know each other?"
"They met at a party, and you helped them a bit in talking at school as well."
"Sounds like we all like to party." She joked.
"Not really."
"The doctors said before the accident, I was at Esai's. do you happen to know why I was at his house?" She asked.
My eyes widened. No one had told me this. My thoughts began to race. /What the hell was she doing at there?/ My teeth gritted. "No, I don't know why."
"Are you alright?" She asked.
"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"No reason." She glanced down.
"I can ask him for her, if you want." I suggested, pointing at her phone.
"Yeah." She agreed. "Get it."
I reached over to the night stand and grabbed her phone. I pressed the home button but it was dying.
"Needs a charger." I showed her. "I think I have one."
I searched in my pockets and I did. I plugged her phone and the charger, then sat back down.
"You say we've only been dating for a week, so why did I see you come into room with puffy eyes? I can't imagine someone that would care so much about a person." She said.
I exhaled. "To be truthful, I've always had a thing for you. The feelings progressed slowly, and then I knew I liked you."
"How long did it take you tell actually tell me?" She asked.
"About a month or more."
She stayed quiet, and I decided not to say anything until she asked.
"I think I had only barely started talking to Esai. It doesn't make sense to why I crashed after leaving his house. I'm usually always aware of my surrounding. Unless I was mad or crying..." Her voice trailed. "I'm sorry, this just doesn't make any sense. There's something missing."
I looked away, and leaned back against the chair. I didn't want him in this relationship, but she seemed to be thinking about only him.
"Maybe when your phone is charged, we can read your messages with him or call and ask." I stated, staring at the tv that was on mute.
"Yeah." She nodded. "I'm a bit tired, do you mind if I go to bed?"
"Go ahead. I'll turn off the lights." I replied, standing up and turning them off.
As I sat back down, she requested that I continued talking so she could fall asleep to my voice and try to regain some memory. I agreed, and at first began talking about how we met and what exactly my feelings were before we started dating. I even told her how we found out we liked one another, and soon she was asleep.
I checked the time and it was only 11:30 p.m. I checked my pockets and found five dollars. I quietly left the room and went downstairs to the vending machines. I bought a Gatorade and a small bag of hot Cheetos. I walked back to the room, and waited impatiently as time passed. I wanted to find out why she was at his house and how it all happened.
I took out my phone, and saw that I had a couple of messages. I ignored them and decided to just get on Snapchat. I saw some of the photos on my story, and there were photos of Savannah and I. They were saved into my gallery, and I contemplated on showing her the next day. Maybe she would remember.
It was now 12:34 a.m. I reached over to her phone, and unlocked it. I went to her messages and clicked on his name where there was some new messages.
E: Savannah, I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know what I was thinking.
Answer me, please.
Well, goodnight...

/Sorry? What did he do?/

I clicked on his contact information, and looked around.
"Fuck it." I whispered.
The phone was now dialing his cell, and I put it against my right ear.
He picked up the phone, "Savannah?" He asked.
I glanced at Savannah, not answering him.
"Hello?" He asked.
I cleared my throat. "This is Joel."
The other end was quiet, and I checked if he had hung up the phone.
"Hello?" I asked after a few seconds.
"Where is Savannah?" He asked.
"Why was she at your house this afternoon?" I questioned.
"Because she wanted to come over." He answered. "Where is she, why are you calling?"
"She in bed." I stated, and then checked if Savannah had woken up. I had spoken a little too loud, so I lowered my voice. "She's been crying this entire time." I lied. "What dr you do?"
"Pass the phone to her." He demanded.
"What did you do to make her upset?" I asked, getting angry.
"Nothing." He exclaimed.
"You did something, obviously!"
"You make it sound like she's completely butt hurt about what she did. I know she liked it."
I stood up from the chair, pushing it back forcefully. "Did you fucking touch her?" I shouted.
"Pass me to her or I'm hanging up."
"She's in the hospital because of you." I replied. "She can't remember shit because of you whatever you did."
"All I did was kiss her!" He replied. "I kissed her and she took off speeding in her car. How the fuck is she in a hospital because I kissed her?"
I stayed quiet, my mouth was ready to explode sinful words to him.
"Wait, did she get into a crash?" He asked, worried.
I hung up the phone, and tossed it onto the sofa chair and stood in the middle of the room. Staring, breathing heavily with my arms against the sides of my head.
"Joel..." Savannah whispered.
I turned to her and saw that we was only sleep talking. I began to calm down because seeing her sleep made everything peaceful. She looked absolutely beautiful.
"I'm sorry." She murmured. "The guy, not me."
Her body jerked a little and it seemed as if she winced in pain. Her right arm laid on her stomach, holding it as if she had a stomachache. She began to make sounds of pain, and I wanted to wake her. She seemed to be dreaming about the crash, because then she moved her body facing the other direction, moving into a fetal position.
"Sorry." She mumbled.

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