Purpose: A Kylo Ren Tale

Five

We're meditating.

It's twilight in the meadow. There is a calmness.

We are laying on the ground, on our backs, facing the galaxy. His head is right next to mine, although our bodies are pointed in opposite directions. If I turn my head to the right I can see the upside down silhouette of his face a few inches from mine.

But I don't turn. I lay perfectly still.

Three moons of varying sizes hang overhead. There are no clouds in the sky, only the paint splattering of millions of stars. It isn't the cold season yet, but there's a slight chill in the air. It feels refreshing. After hours of trying to block Kylo Ren from my mind, I have worked my body into a slight sweat. The breeze slowly rolls across my damp skin.

He said I did well. Praised me for picking up on the game so quickly.

"In your mind - build a safe, or something similar. A way to lock up secrets. Or a wall to block off your whole mind. Make it impervious."

He let me into his own mind just once.

It was to demonstrate the technique. He chose a recent memory- when he smirked at me from across the table. He showed that memory being boxed in with plates of thick durasteel. Screws tightened along all the seams to make it airtight. And no matter how I tried, I couldn't break in.

"And now that memory is only for me," he said, pushing me out of his psyche and back to reality. Before I had time to respond to this statement, it was my turn. He allowed me to take my time - to pick a memory and make a plan.

I felt him enter my mind, watching me work.

I found the memory I wanted to lock away. Kylo Ren in the woods, with the smallest wisp of purple incense wrapping around him.

He did not acknowledge the memory I chose, just as I did not question his. 

At first I tried to box it up as he had, with cold metal. But no matter how my mind built the safe, he easily found his way in. I was frustrated, but not flustered. It was challenging - I had never met another Force user so I had never once tried to block anyone else from my thoughts. Hadn't even thought about it.

I slowed my breathing, made my heartbeat fall in sync. I grounded myself with the vegetation under my fingertips. I imagined vines and roots. Thick tangles of complicated root systems. They wrapped around the memory gently but securely, and then vines encircled every square inch and made it airtight.

The more times we practiced, the faster I could do it. It became easier to protect memories and thoughts from him, and he actually had to put in some effort to make it through the tangles. He did eventually, every time, but I expected nothing less.

"Impressive for a first lesson. Now rest. Meditate. Think on what you've learned."

And so here we are, some time later, both content in our own silences.

I think on what I have learned.

I etch the new skills onto the inner folds of my brain.

My thoughts become a slow steady stream of consciousness, flowing through my mind like a gentle current. I don't linger on any one particular thought for too long, I let it continue downstream, leaving space for the next thought to float by.

I hear a quiet symphony of crickets and owls.

Downstream.

The sweat droplets on my skin feel cool in the mountain breeze.

Downstream.

I'm glad I wrapped myself in a cozy sweater before our night hike.

Downstream.