Maybe Someday

Chapter 7

(CLARKE'S POV)

For a moment my senses are distorted as I slowly flutter my eyes open as they protest against the harsh sunlight. My muscles tense as I feel a tingling sensation against my cheek, tickling and move to reach my hand up only to release that both my hands are clutched towards someone's chest and their back pressed to my chest and quickly yesterday's events click into my mind, forcing me to smile and quickly bury my face into the nape of Lexa's neck.

"Good morning Clarke."

"Sorry I didn't wake you did I?"

She slowly turns in my arms to face me and the breath catches in my throat as her faces settles mere inches from mine.

"No, I've been awake for a while but you seemed so peaceful, I couldn't bring myself to wake you."

"I haven't felt peaceful in a long time."

"I would say the same but I'm not sure if death can be counted as peace or not." 

Although Lexa is smiling, clearly meaning it as a joke, my entire chest constricts and hands covered with black blood flash before my eyes.

"What's wrong Clarke?"

"You......you died. There was nothing I could do to save you even though it was my fault."

"You are not to blame Clarke, I should have known Titus would do something, Fleimkepas were known to be drastic, it is not the first time a commander has been killed by their Fleimkepa, although Sheidheda's death had reason."

"But if I had just-"

"Clarke please do not torture yourself with these, I died because Titus made a poor decision, because the people weren't ready or willing to accept unity. There is likely nothing either of us could have said to persuade him otherwise."

"I can't stop seeing it- black blood covering my hands as he carried you out of the room and away from me"

"I'm here now", she cups my cheek, stroking it as she leans in to place a tender kiss on my waiting lips, "we can replace them with new memories, happier memories because now we have time. It wasn't the right time for us before but it is now and nothing is going to stop me being happy here with you. We have our peace, we deserve to enjoy it. We can work past what goes through your head together because there is no way that I am leaving you again."

A tear slowly falls down my cheek, and for once it is a happy tear, one that Lexa gently kisses away.

"You're right, let's not waste it."

This causes her to lift an eyebrow as I smirk and gently roll on top of her, straddling her hips and pulling her in for a passionate kiss, ensuring that this time, we do not have to rush because there is no time limit for our love now, it's simply us.

(LEXA'S POV)

I step out of our makeshift tent, stretching my muscles out as I start into a slow jog taking note that I am the only one up. I steadily jog around the lake, still wary of pushing my body too much, and allow my mind to wonder 

Clarke's tears as she slowly leans down, kissing me goodbye

The loneliness of the city of light 

The peace knowing that Clarke was protected 

The awakening 

Seeing Clarke's changed face

The overpowering fear knowing that she was endangered

The urge to protect Madi

The longing to breathe once again simply to hold her once again

The darkness knowing that my family were endangered, both Clarke and Madi

The uncontained joy of once again knowing I can see her again

The gentle breeze on my skin yet all I could feel was warmth

I slowly notice the slight ache in my cheeks and realise I had barely stopped smiling since yesterday, it may have been more than I have ever smiled in my life, I am powerless to stop it.

Without realising I have already ran a lap around the lake and am back at our camp, people are slowly beginning to rise, though mostly walking endlessly. Apart from Octavia who seems to be wide awake.

"Good morning Octavia"

"Morning Lexa"

"I think it's time we find some dinner, do you have any weapons?"

"No, we weren't brought back with any"

"Okay I might be out of practise but we can probably make a simple bow and arrow until we can make something better."

*2 hours later

Me and Octavia finally arrive with two deers and a few rabbits with various vegetables and berries we found along the way. We arrive to find mostly everyone awake, mostly working on our makeshift tents although Echo was sparring with Bellamy who seems to still hold a lot of pent up anger.

Most stop when they see us carrying back food and breathe sighs of relief, we are instantly helped with the weight and they quickly get to work skinning and cooking the animal, all except Bellamy helping with the meal.

A couple of hours later, all of us had eaten our fill and I decided to begin sparring, first with Madi then with Echo. I found that I was slightly out of practise but I almost instantly picked it back up and the moves quickly began to feel natural once again. After a while I see almost everyone begin to crowd around us as me and echo twirl around eachother and I eventually pin her with my stick pointing  towards her neck and she concedes and I hear a snicker from someone. I look up to see mostly everyone glaring at Bellamy, clearly revealing it came from him.

"Is there something you wish to share Bellamy?"

"You think that you're so tough Lexa? You are weak. Octavia united everyone yet you couldn't, you died so you are not as tough as you want everyone to think."

I clench my jaw at that, trying not to lose my temper and just kill him right there.

"Bellamy you better be-"

"It's okay Clarke, he can say what he wants, I can still hear his fear eventhough he is trying to mask it. It appears you are still angry with me Bellamy even after I allowed you to slap me, why?"

"Allowed me to slap you? No need to pretend Lexa, you were too weak to stop me, you know why, you will be nothing but a traitor in my eyes."

I step closer to him, never breaking eye contact.

"Would you like to test that theory?"

I look towards Echo and nod and with that she holds out her staff/ stick (I don't know what to call it but you get the idea) and for a moment he only stares it then clenches one fist as he grabs the staff with his other and takes a confident step towards me as I smirk.

 This will be fun.

I apologise that this is quite a short chapter and it has taken so long to update. I have been struggling massively with my mental health lately as well as dealing with very difficult family circumstances. The second half I have just written and I am not going to lie I am a little tipsy so I'm hoping there won't be too may mistakes. I always gravitate to Clexa when I've had a little drink, I think it helps me understand my own feelings. Long story short I think I am slightly/ completely in love with someone and it's the first time I've ever really had true feelings for someone. Being someone with a troubled past it apparently comes with a lot of overthinking and insecurity so that's been rough.

I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and was finally able to get my first tattoo. I dedicated this to Lexa and will most likely add a picture of this to the next chapter, if you would like to see it! Anyways I am going to start the next chapter as I am quite excited to write the Lexa and Bellamy scene so hopefully it won't take too long to update again. As always thank you for reading! x