Maybe Someday

Chapter 8

I closely watch Bellamy's feet, waiting for him to make a move, I see the tension in his right foot, and quickly duck to avoid his attack, jutting my elbow out to hit him hard in the ribs. This quick move leaves him shocked as I watch quickly turn, surprise clear on his face as I resettle into my stance.

"What? You didn't think I would take it easy on you did you? I trained to fight since the age of 5 if you were looking for an easy target then you have been severely mistaken."

His expression quickly hardens as he quickly gets back into his attack stance and attempts to disarm me, delivering jab after jab, though his resolve deteriorates rapidly as he realises that none of them are landing as I easily dodge attack after attack. With this his guard is let down and I take the opportunity to quickly serve a jab to the side then stomach and kick him onto his back, twirling the staff in my hand as I wait for him to get back up.

After a few seconds he slowly rises to face me once again, this time he throws his stick towards me , forcing me to step aside.

"You think you're so tough when all you are doing is hiding behind a weapon?"

"I don't think you would appreciate fighting me in hand-to-hand combat"

"Or maybe you know that you cannot win without your weapon"

I smirk.

"Maybe you are more stupid than I thought, as you wish."

I throw my staff to the side and settle into my fighting stance, fists raised and balanced.

I watch him as he releases something in resemblance to a growl as he rushes towards me blindl.

*10 minutes later 

I stand tall, watching as Bellamy barely rolls onto his side, spitting blood.

The fight ended quickly and easily, he fights blindly, mostly due to his anger, allowing me many openings as I effortlessly twist and turn away from his 'hits', easily jumping and twisting, throwing him to the floor time after time. His soul may be strong, as he did not know when to give up, although it was clear he had lost even before the fight had begun. 

"This is your final warning Bellamy, do not try anything like this again, you cannot beat me, you fight in anger for what you have lost, none of which falls on me. I understand you may feel frustrated but you need to control it, use it for something productive. I am not the commander anymore, despite this I have never been the monster you created in your mind to justify your own guilt. I also understand you need time to process what you have lost after blaming me for so long, but do not ever attempt to harm me or anyone here ever again or this time I will  become that monster you fear."

Without looking at him I hastily s away and towards mine and Clarke's tent, I need to get my emotions back under control.

"Lexa...."

I can't allow myself to reply and continue staring at the floor as I am sat with my legs crossed. I see a flash of legs in my eyesight as she sits cross- legged in front of me and I force myself to look into her eyes and in that moment I am powerless to stop my eyes filling with tears.

After twenty minutes of me sobbing in Clarke's comforting arms, the tears finally begin to slow and I slowly lift my head from her chest as she wipes away my remaining tears.

"I'm sorry..."

"Never be sorry for having emotions Lex, everyone has them, sometimes they just become too much. Do you want to talk about it?"

I stayed silent from a few seconds and force myself to look into her eyes.

"I just.....is that how you saw me? As some cruel, ruthless monster. Is that how everyone saw me? I never wanted to be a monster but what if that's all they will ever see me as?"

"Oh Lex of course not. I'll admit you intimidated the hell out of me when I first saw you but that's not because I thought you were a monster but because I knew you were powerful. We were all scared kids that were completely new to any other kind of culture or people, we didn't know what to think. Even now every person here has changed since you died, Bellamy had too he's just throwing a temper tantrum because he wants someone to blame, he's most likely still in shock that I almost killed him. It is no excuse for his behaviour and if you decide to, I will support you if you choose to avoid him completely from now on but anyone that's still wary will come around, it will just take time for them to realise how amazing you are."

"It just hit me a little, seeing the hatred in Bellamy's eyes as he tried to fight me, I guess I was foolish to think that everything would be peaceful when I came back."

"Between us? Always. Plus there are already a few people that seem to really like you, Raven for example, though that may also have downsides as she apparently loves to make fun of you. Echo, Indra, Gaia, Octavia, Levitt and let's not forget that Madi absolutely adores you."

I can't help but chuckle at that.

"There have been plenty of times the people here have not cared for me either, I've probably had a screaming match with every single one of them at some point. We are going to have our happy life regardless of what others decide to think of us, I'm not letting anyone have control over our happiness anymore, we've earned this, I refuse to let it be ruined."

I can no longer think of any words to say so instead I crash into her lips, relaxing into the kiss, despite the slight saltiness I can still taste from my tears. Perhaps Clarke is right, perhaps it is finally time to choose happiness rather than dwell on what others say. I can't afford to have anymore regrets.

Sorry for the really short chapter again because it has been almost two months since I have updated. I decided to try and take time away from everything to work on my mental health, I'm still not the greatest but I'm getting there and finally felt ready to start working on this again. I have a really exciting idea for next chapter so it's going to be quite a long one which is why this chapter is cut short. 

As promised the picture for this chapter is my tattoo, the infinity is obviously dedicated to Lexa and the date is for when I came out to my parents because that was absolutely terrifying for me and if it wasn't for finding Lexa a few years before, I'm not sure how I would have had the courage to do it.

Anyways thanks for reading!! I am going to start working on the next chapter so hopefully the update won't take as long as last time.