Maybe Someday

Chapter 3

"I can't believe this is real, I can't believe you're here".

We eventually moved towards the water and sat down, still clinging to eachother's hands, not allowing any kind of space between us as we watch the sun slowly set over the water.

"Neither can I Clarke."

"It's okay if you aren't ready to answer but what do you remember? Do you still have all of your memories?"

I look up to see a flash of pain flicker in her eyes as she grips my hand tighter and meets my gaze.

"It's okay, I will tell you", she shuts her eyes to gather herself as she takes a deep breath in. "I remember us on earth, the day you walked into my tent, the day you saved me from the pauna everything. I.....I remember my death, how you held me in my last moments."

I subconsciously move closer to her and tighten my grip and she seems to notice as she squeezes my hand back.

"It's okay Clarke I am here now, I'm not going anywhere."

I look up to her and smile slightly, knowing that she is telling the truth.

"I remember saving you in the city of light. I do remember some parts of being in Madi's mind but that is a little faint. I have to tell you Clarke," she puts a finger under my chin so that I am facing her "I am so sorry, I tried to stop Sheidheda and protect her but suddenly everything went dark and I couldn't access her anymore, there was nothing. That is the last I can remember until feeling a warmth and transcending, you have no idea how happy I was when I found out both of you were okay".

My smile once again spreads across my face and a single tears falls down my cheek which she instantly wipes away as her smile reflects mine.

"You don't have to answer either but could you help fill in some of the blanks, I'm still confused how all of this happened."

"Of course, do you remember Madi leaving earth and arriving to sanctum?" she nods.

"I remember the explosion on earth yes".

"One of my friends Monty, he believed earth wasn't going to come back so he sent us to Sanctum and we got there after 150 years. I think Sheidheda isolated you and the other commanders shortly after we arrived there when Madi was seeing him."

"I think so too, I remember Madi getting to the new planet but after that nothing".

"Madi struggled a lot on our time in Sanctum because for a time she believed I was dead...."

"Wait," Lexa interrupts me with panic clear in her voice, "why would she believe that?"

I take a deep breath, knowing what I was about to say would upset her, knowing I almost died.

"The people already there, the primes, they found a way to live forever by uploading their entire minds to a drive, it was similar to the flame, they wiped the minds of their people and inserted their mind drives into their bodies, they did that to me too."

"I'm confused, please tell me I'm not dreaming that you are here."

I quickly reach up my hand to her cheek.

"Lexa it's okay, calm down I'm here, I'm okay I promise, just let me explain okay- I'm not going anywhere either just trust me"

"You know that I trust you Clarke."

I smile and give her a small nod as I once again rest against her side.

"They gave me the injection to wipe my mind as I was paralysed. A couple of days passed and I woke up back in my cell on the ark, but the walls were covered in my memories, it was the first time I got to see your face again, when you asked me to stay in Polis, it was there multiple times because it is one of my favourite memories."

I glance up at her to see her studying my face with that same small smile.

"I also got to see my dad, Maya and even Monty again as well as Alie. Luckily for me the chip that I had to take to enter the city of light when I had the flame interfered with the drug they had tried to wipe my mind with. The other mind that had taken over my body tried to get rid of me but as you know, I'm pretty stubborn when I want to be."

Lexa chuckles, "that is an understatement".

I chuckle with her.

"Eventually, someone called Gabriel took out the mind drive, I killed her in the mind space and Bellamy gave me CPR and brought me back to life. When I got back Sheidheda had pretty much taken control of her body. It took awhile but I got her back, however Raven had to destroy the flame because it was the only way to get rid of Sheidheda and save her. It broke me because I didn't know what happened to you in the flame, I thought you were gone."

I take another deep breath and feel her squeeze my hand in support.

"A couple of days ago, Gabriel tried to recover information on the flame using a device, but before it could be finished he shot the flame and I lost you all over again. I can't explain it to you all at once because not even I understand it but there are stones that allow us to travel to different planets and clearly earth was back. A certain code can be entered into this stone that takes us somewhere else to be judged and if the test is passed we transcend. I didn't pass but Raven and Octavia did it once Raven went in after me."

"A test? What was that like?"

"Well the judge said that I failed because I.....I killed a man during the test to try and stop it, he was the once that paralysed Madi. I thought she was going to die because of what he did and I just, I had to kill him".

I glance up to her and she gives me a reassuring smile, "I understand Clarke, Madi means everything to you I probably would have done the same."

She pauses until I give her a small nod.

"What was the judge like."

"They were beautiful"

"Beautiful hmm".

She looks back towards the sunset and I grin slightly as I see jealousy cross her features.

"She appeared as you Lex."

Her eyes instantly snap back to mine at the response.

"She looked like me? Why?"

"Before I shot Cadogan the judge appeared as his daughter. They said the test subject choses who they appear as, it can be their greatest teacher, the source of their greatest failure or...." I lock eyes with her as I say this "or it could be their greatest love", once again the love shines bright in her eyes and I look back towards the setting sun.

"You looked exactly like the first day we met, your warpaint and pauldron with your red sash, the judge told me straight away that she wasn't really you eventhough she had your memories. Although it wasn't really you at the time, I was just glad to see and hear you again, I never dared to believe I ever could again."

A moments silence passes by and I once again feel her lift my chin and draw closer to place the softest, most loving kiss on my lips and slowly pulls away, "I love you too Clarke, always".