Ice Cold- Park Sunghoon

fourteen

Sunghoon didn't show up for practice anymore. Who could blame him for that? 

Soojin spent that last week on her own, going through her routine over and over and over again until her body did all the work and her mind was free to think about something else. Whenever she reached that point, she could feel tears wandering over her red cheeks,  blurring her vision immensely until she couldn't see anymore. 

Then she broke down, falling on her knees as if someone had pushed her onto the floor, unbearable weight keeping her down. That's how she stayed for over 10 minutes until she got up, grabbed her phone and tried calling Sunghoon. 

It was no surprise that he didn't pick up. 

Once again she left a desperate message, hoping that he wouldn't just delete it without listening to it first. 

"Sunghoon?", her voice trembled. 

"I know you don't want to hear this. Hell if I was you I wouldn't either. But I need you. Every day without you makes me weaker and weaker to the point where I can't even stand anymore. That kiss wasn't on me, deep down you know that. You know that I lo-"

The message ended. 

Tomorrow was the competition and Soojin needed him there to win. She needed him to survive. 

Suddenly practise didn't seem important anymore. The girl got changed in an instant, grabbing her back and running out of the building. She didn't even care about the weird gazes of the people around her, watching her run like a maniac. 

Shortly after she stood in front of Sunghoon's door. 

She knocked once. Then twice. Then a third time. Soojin was sure that she heard footsteps coming towards her, but then they stopped. She could feel that Sunghoon was right there on the other side of the door. 

"Please open up Sunghoon. Let me explain, please. I have no contact with Jiyoo anymore after what she did to you- to us. I didn't know she was going to do that, I tried to push her away but she was always stronger than me and-" 

she sighed,

"-and maybe I liked her before I met you... I don't know. She was the first person I felt this connection with and I guess that hindered me in actually hurting her feelings. But I broke it off. I told her what she did was wrong and I apologized for leading her on with my behaviour. I was too scared to see you in person, too ashamed,  but now I am not anymore. Because I now know that what happened was not entirely my fault and I shouldn't bee too harsh on myself. I hurt you, I understand that. But isn't that part of growing up? Making mistakes and learning from them?"

No answer from inside. 

"If you can't forgive me now, at least know that I love you Park Sunghoon. And that you have changed my life forever."

She never heard Sunghoon step away from the door, but she assumed he did after she fell asleep leaning against the door of his house, her arms wrapped around her knees, trying to protect herself from the freezing temperatures overnight. 

Little did she know that Sunghoon was right on the other side, his back leaning onto the door, not knowing that Soojin was still out there. He had looked out the small observatio-hole (don't know how it's called, not even in german xD) and didn't see her anymore, so he sat down, head against the door, thinking about what she had said. 

"I love you too Soojin", he mumbled to himself before falling asleep. 

* 

When Soojin woke up the next morning everything was hurting. Her throat was sore from breathing in the freezing air the whole night and she couldn't feel her limbs anymore. 

With a loud sigh, she got up, hissing at the immense pain, before walking towards her home. It was early in the morning, she still had a little time left until the competition so she decided to take a hot shower and preparing herself for it. She knew her mum would propose a bath instead but she had this thing where she felt like suffocating whenever she took a bath and ended up filling it with cold water to properly breathe again. 

Sunghoon made fun of her when she told him. How much she needed him to do just that once again. 

The hours passed and the girl was running around the changing room, hoping that her special someone would show up to cheer her on. But he didn't. Not when she arrived there. Not when she had changed into her costume and was preparing herself for going out. Not when did her warmup and last rehearsals on the ice. 

It hurt her if she was honest. She knew that he was struggling right now, but this was something they had worked towards for months- and now he didn't even show up or send her a message. 

She didn't need him to forgive her, but she at least wanted to know that she wasn't completely irrelevant to him. 

"Fuck you Park Sunghoon", she whispered to herself, tears in her eyes, when her name got finally called and Park Sunghoon was nowhere to be seen. 

Soojin saw her parents and some friends cheering her on with huge posters, screaming when she entered the rink, making her a little embarrassed. At the same time, she hoped to see the raven-haired boy amongst them. She didn't. 

The girl took a deep breath and when the music started playing, she lost herself in it and her routine, not caring who was- or more specifically- who wasn't there. 

___ 

Update? Hehe. Sry to all the people that read the last chapter and got angry at me:( and that y'all had to wait so long for this chapter. 

I think there will be two chapters still- or 1 chapter and 1 epilogue? 

In chapter twelve I said there was going to be 5 or something, changed my mind. Don't want to drag this story too much^^ 

If you, after all of this, still want to read more of my stories, I will add a list of my ideas to the next chapter and y'all can vote for whatever you want to read of me (or you don't, ur choice haha) 

Love yaa<3