Ice Cold- Park Sunghoon

sixteen

Have you ever fallen into some kind of hole, that surrounds you in darkness and pain until you lose track of time and emotions? A hole that eats you up alive until you are nothing but an empty shell? No? Good. 

Soojin looked down on her hand, counting her fingers over and over again. 5. 

She once read in a news article that when you dream, things like the number of your fingers don't match with the reality. That your brain does weird things you can't really control. She sighed. Maybe she was dreaming. 

At least she wished she did. 

Once again she felt like laying down, staring at the high seeling in the building. She heard the sound of figure skaters gliding over the slippery surface, some talking of the trainers and from time to time, she thought she heard her special someone. 

Normally she would've cried at that thought. But after almost two years of doing so, she felt drained out. Dry. Just like the plant she bought days ago. Poor thing.  

The cold air hit her face over and over again, as soon as she changed her position a little. The bench was a little uncomfortable, especially after she lost a lot of weight. Her bones were aching every time she did it. Sit down. Fall. Damn even getting sleep was getting uncomfortable. 

Maybe if she had been skinnier Sunghoon wouldn't have left her. 

"Damn this", she hissed. There Soojin was, trying to blame his leaving on things like her appearance. Things that didn't seem to matter to Sunghoon at all. Completely frustrated at how miserable she still was, after all this time, the girl sat up. She had more important stuff to do than think about someone that has long moved on. 

Stuff like the competition tomorrow. 

* 

"Are you cold?" 

A question the girl literally couldn't hear anymore. Yes. Yes, she was cold. Always. "I can give you my jacket", her trainer proposed after seeing her slight nod. "Don't worry about it."

With that, the conversation was over. Soojin grabbed her bag, almost dragging it towards the changing room, receiving many weird stares from other trainers and skaters. But who was she to care? 

Her trainer just watched the girl disappear into the room. It hurt him how things were going. He remembered her when she came to him some time ago, having almost no experience but the strongest will he had ever seen in someone. Now all of it was gone. She was good, damn, she was winning almost every competition she participated in- but her eyes were empty. Cold- ice cold. 

If he had the chance to turn back time and change how she lived for the past months, he would. He should've asked her what was bothering her. Why she was stressing herself out. What she was blaming herself for. But he never did. He watched her slowly but surely break. How much he hated himself for that. 

* 

Soojin was one of the last contestants. Something she had always enjoyed. Less stress and time to watch the others before performing herself. Sighing she rested her head on the board, before stretching herself a little. She watched a small woman do her routine, falling two times before losing her smile. 

"It always hurts me when they do that." 

Soojin nodded. Wait. "Well yeah but who-"

A pair of beautiful brown eyes stared down on her, a soft smile on the boy's lips. For a minute Soojin just stared at the ethereal figure in front of her. Then she woke up.

At least the tried to, blinking over and over again, her breathing getting heavier after every time she counted her fingers. 5. No. No, this couldn't be- 

"Very flattering of you to think I'm a creation of your dreams but-" 

He got cut off by two thin arms wrapping around his muscular but lean body, making it a little hard to breathe. "Trying to extinguish the competition I see", he gasped before chuckling at his own joke, hugging the girl back as if they never separated. 

"I missed you", he mumbled into her ear. 

"Fuck you Sunghoon. I fucking hate you so much", she cried, hitting Sunghoon with every spoken word, causing the boy actual pain. "Slow down there. I wasn't the one leaving for a different country without telling anyone", he muttered back, still hurting at the memory of it. 

The day he just couldn't handle his feelings anymore. The day he missed Soojin more than ever. The day he walked to her house, knocked on the door- and was met by her mother, tears in her eyes. 

"My girl is gone", she explained, her hands shaking. "W-what do you mean gone?" 

That's when he found out that he missed seeing Soojin by exactly 9 minutes. Oh how much he hated that number. 

For a while the two just stared at each other, trying to figure out what the other has been trough in these last years of pain-loneliness. Sunghoon's whole body tensed up after eyeing the girl's unnaturally thin shape and the big eye bags under her eyes. She seemed weak and drained out. She reminded him of himself. 

The shadow he once was, passionless and empty. If he was able to switch place with Soojin he would do that. He would give everything to see her happy again. This genuine smile that lit up his world in a matter of seconds, making him forget all the evil on this goddamn planet. At least for a short period of time. Now she lost it. 

"What happened to you?"

Dumb question. He wanted to take it back and instead just hug all the problems out of the girl in front of him, but before he could to that Soojin started smiling. A sad smile. 

"I loved you." 

Sunghoon gulped after hearing that. 

"And was that a mistake?" 

He watched as the girl just eyed him, staring into his eyes as if they were the best thing to ever exist. How was she always able to make him feel like the most special person on earth? His hands were shaking and his knees felt weaker and weaker the longer he had to wait on an answer. Then her delicate voice appeared in his ears. 

"The best mistake I ever made." 

Suddenly something soft was pressed against his lips, making the boy feel hot and freezing cold at the same time. He didn't know how long he could keep himself up, so he wrapped his arms around the girl's waist, desperately trying to hold on to her forever. Breathing didn't feel necessary and if that was going to be the cause of his death- he'd gladly take it. 

As soon as they separated Sunghoon stared into the girl's eyes and hell he swore he could see the coldness in them slowly melt away. 

"Now if you excuse me Park Sunghoon- I think I owe you a win."  

THE END 

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Thanks for over 2k reads and all the sweet and funny comments you guys left me^^ I felt so motivated after reading them but I'm just not someone that likes to write something for a long period of time. 

I'm not really satisfied with my writing in this last chapter, you deserved more and I know that I am capable of more but it just didn't work out that way. 

At the time you will read this the first chapter of my next story will be uploaded (not really a chapter but a small introduction so you can already add it to your library- I need some time to figure out the plot before actually starting- and I need a cover n shit)  so if you want, check that out. You can follow me if you want to stay updated with future stories as well, but you, of course, don't have too^^ 

I hope I see many of you in the next book. It was an honour being ur author. 

Love yaa<3