Life and Death

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Note to self: 12th Dec

Chapter 11

Katniss's POV

I can feel pains rushing through me.
A hand grips mine. Soft and strong.
I manage to crack my eyes open and see Peeta, tall and kind standing over me. His eyes look a little weird at first, like there is a small glinting orange behind his pupils. But it is gone after a second, so I put it down to the lightheadedness.
I shut my eyes, and hear the door opening.
"Peeta, you need to go," says Haymitch's voice.
Peeta begins to protest, but Haymitch cuts him off with "Now."
After a second, his fingers begin to slip away from mine, but I catch his hand and my eyes fly open again. "Don't go. Please."
His head turn to a nurse, who nods to confirm it's okay. He sits down on a small stool next to the bed as I try to breathe through the pain.
A nurse is at the end of the bed, and keeps telling me to try and be calm.

◇◇◇

Peeta's POV

My hand feels like most of the bones in it are broken, but I don't let her hand go.
She tells and nurses talk to her.
Something happens and I hear a Doctor or a nurse say "baby number one."
And my heart almost stops.

◇◇◇

Katniss's POV

One last push, and the doctor says "baby number two."

◇◇◇


Peeta's arms wrap around me and I hug him back.
"We're okay." He says into my ear. "We're all going to be okay."
"I finally thought of a name."
"What is it?"
I smile as I go to say it, " I like S-"
"Miss. Everdeen, Mr. Mellark," a doctor says, who just walked in, "I'm afraid that the male baby... He didn't make it."
I don't understand. "What do you mean?"
"He stopped breathing, his heart failed. I'm so sorry."
It hits me like a rock. "What? Where are they?" The edge of my eye stings a little.
"The girl is fine."
Peeta's hand holds my arm. He lowers himself from standing next to me to sitting on the bed in front of me. Tears run down his face already. "Katniss," he chokes on his words. "He's gone." His breaths shake. "We will be okay though. We will pull through. I promise. We still have her."
"Willow," I say. "Can I see her?"
The doctor is calm. "We just need to-"
"Let me see her."
"We need a minute to weigh her and make sure she is okay."
"Okay...." I think of the dead boy who will never get his name. "okay...."

◇◇◇

Peeta's POV

I hold her as she cries. As we cry.
How did this happen? Why?
What did we do for this? All this? The games. Twice. Barely escaping death. Nearly losing everything. Being separated. And now this.
I can't begin to imagine what she is going through.
Three hours at least of mass amounts of pain.
And then losing one of the children she never even got to meet. I can't tell her about whatever happened to me. But I think I know what it was. I decide to talk to Haymitch about it.
A nurse comes back in, with Willow wrapped in a white blanket in her arms. She hands her to Katniss, and instantly it looks right. Katniss holds Willow close to her chest, rocking her very slightly.
"Ms. Everdeen, we will need to keep you here for a few days, to monitor you and the baby."
"Okay," She replies.
The nurse walks back out, happy that Katniss can handle the baby. Willow.
Willow is so small in Katniss's arms.
"She's ours Peeta."
"Yeah."
Katniss turns around a little and prises Willlow away from her chest just a little, gesturing for me to hold her. I carefully put my hands under her, and draw her in toward me. I rock her gently, like Katniss did. She is so fragile, so silent. Her eyes are closed, so I can see just two lines of blond lashes.
"Hello," I say. "Hey Willow. How are you so sweet?"
I hear a small laugh and look over to Katniss. We both smile. "I'm gonna give you back to your Mom now..."
Katniss reaches out and takes her from me. She whispers to her, some secret words I'll never know.
For now I can damn the flood of orange that is trying to wash over my brain.
Nothing is going to take this moment away from me. No Capitol serum. It isn't. I'm not going to let it.

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