Out Of My Reach

Chapter 10

Ariez's POV

I quickly entered my car when I reached the parking lot. Kanina nang maihatid kami ni Radan dito sa mall, tinawagan ko yung driver namin na dalahin dito yung kotse ko kaya nandito to ngayon.

I closed my eyes as I let my head rest on the steering wheel. I need a peaceful place to think and I know exactly where that is. My secret spot.

My phone suddenly rang. It's Clark.

"Hey." I said.

"What do you mean hey? You're talking nonsense earlier and I tried to catch up with you but then you suddenly ended the call! Just what the heck was that huh?!" He sounded so annoyed and it's the first time I heard him like that.

"So it is you?"

"What? I clearly don't get you. Damn." I chuckled because of his sudden cuss. Inis talaga sya no?

"Wala. Anyway, thanks for earlier. If it wasn't for you, siguro nandun pa rin ako."

"Can you please enlighten me? Hindi talaga kita maintindihan." Sabi nya pa. Naiimagine ko tuloy syang nakakunot ang noo. Cute.

"I have to get out of that place but I can't think of a reason then you suddenly called and I used that chance to make an excuse. In short, I used you and I'm sorry for that." I said sincerely. Pakinig ko ang buntong hininga ni Clark.

"I still don't get you but at least I understood some parts."

"Yeah yeah. I have to go. See you tomorrow. Bye." I said and I ended the call after he said goodbye.

Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago pinaandar ang kotse ko. I am going to a peaceful and a secret park. Only few people know about that place and I'm one of them. Isang oras ang pagbyahe papunta dun but once you get there, you can totally say that it's worth the one hour ride.

Habang patungo dun, nagpatugtog na lang ako sa phone ko para naman hindi sobrang tahimik dito sa kotse. I shuffled it. Tapos biglang tumugtog yung bagong kanta ni Moira which is paubaya.

It's quite a sad song. As the song plays, I suddenly remembered that Radan is already courting my best friend. Alam ko naman na malayo yung meaning nung paubaya dito sa pinagdadaanan ko ngayon pero ang sakit eh. Idagdag pa yung malungkot na tono.

Ate Moi naman bakit ganito ang kanta nyo? Masyadong masakit eh. Hindi ka na po ba masaya sa piling ng asawa nyo? Joke.

Eh bakit naman kasi ang sakit masyado nito. Ako ang kailangan pero di ang mahal~~ ouch.

After a long drive, I finally arrived at the park. Pagkapark ko ng kotse ko, napansin ko na may isa din kotse na nakaparada sa parking. Mukhang kami lang ang tao dito ah.

That's a good thing though. I want to be alone for some moment. I sat on the bench where I usually sit whenever I go here. Yung park na to, nasa bundok kaya kitang kita yung magandang view dito sa inuupuan ko. It somehow made me feel better but the pain still remains.

A lone tear fell from my eye. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from sobbing but I just can't help it. The tears kept falling down no matter how hard I tried to stop it.

Akala ko magiging okay na ako eh. If only I knew it would be this painful, I shouldn't have taken the risk. I shouldn't have accepted Radan's request. But what can I do right? It's already here. I can't do anything but to keep on receiving all this pain because he's totally out of my reach. Fuck it!

Do I even deserve this?

I didn't do anything wrong. Nagmahal lang naman ako pero bakit patuloy akong nasasaktan? I guess I loved the wrong person. Damn! But still, I love him so much to the point that I helped him find his way to his happiness even though it's not with me.