Limerence; Draco Malfoy

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Panic

Coming down from my high made it feel like my soul was re-entering my body. For several, tense seconds all I could do was lay there, shaking - stars in my vision and an erratic heartbeat to match. Only the sounds of our synchronized heavy breathing filled the dead air of the cupboard.

My eyes refused to open themselves, because currently Draco had moved backwards and I could feel him staring. Gloating. And undoubtably feeling very proud himself right now, considering I couldn't form a coherent sentance. So I kept my legs squeezed shut, feeling my hands growing slippery in their restraits.

"I wasn't bluffing when I said I'd make a mess out of you."

His hand suddenly slipped between my thighs. Again. Again. My eyes snapped open to find his dialated pupils inches from mine. Wisps of his snowy hair brushed against my forehead, ticklish.

"I'm the first person whose done that to you, aren't I?" His lip curled slightly at one corner, then dropped into that perpetual sneer. "Or at least, I'm the first person whose done it properly."

His hand had begun sliding teasingly up and down my leg again and my breath hitched. A knot began building up in my stomach. Blinking slowly into his eyes as though in a daze, I replied.

"I've never... this is all new to me."

"Yeah? You make that rather obvious. Clearly arguing with me isn't the only time when you like to raise your voice." And then he laughed.

Laughed. Not a sly chuckle or huff, but a short, genuine and open laugh. A laugh which lit up his face like pale, wintry sunshine.

Then it was abruptly swept away by his familiar dark and pensive expression, and he stopped sliding his cold hand back and forth up my thigh.

I tried not to make a sound.

"This... this doesn't mean anything." He said simply. Coldly. "Understand?"

I didn't understand. Not one little bit.

"You eavesdropped my argument with Parkinson." His expression matched his tone again: cold. "You witnessed yourself the mess I left her in. And I honestly didn't give a fuck if I upset her. I still don't."

His eyes were dead on mine. "You are no different. See, I'm not here for anything but a distraction, as we've discussed... and I need you to understand all this before we..." Another small sigh - impatient now. "Before you get attached."

I stared into his eyes for several, silent seconds. Unblinking. My expression blank.

And I burst out laughing.

Laughing so hard I felt ribs aching. The hand resting halfway up my thigh became a warning grip, his fingers digging into the flesh, but I couldn't stop.

His expression made it funnier: he looked confused, enraged and hurt all at once. Disbelieved at finding me giggling like he'd just told a joke, instead of crying, like probably expected. Like he'd probably hoped.

"W-what makes you think I could ever be attached to you?" I gasped for air between my laughs, wheezing now. Sure, there was a little inkling of bitterness swirling in my stomach, but I stubbornly ignored it and laughed and laughed- "-Calm down, Draco, the only reason i'm still in this cupboard is for the same reasons as you." My breathing slowed again. I swallowed, nervously. "You were right: I needed the distraction as well."

He didn't respond. Just stayed hovering over me with his hand still gripped inbetween my pressed thighs, scanning my forced blank expression with too much intensity, searching for signs of hurt. Brows slightly scrunched together...