MATING WITH THE MATED KING

***24: THAT I LOVE YOU

SONG*: What if I told you that I love you -Ali Gatie

           

            *That I love you*

Hurting, pain, anger, betrayal, sadness, numb and more..

How was I suppose to express my feelings. It's hard to put in all I'm feeling by just words, simple words. My head aches and everything seems to tumble down to my feet.

It seems like my whole life I've been living a lie. "Lena?" And there he was, falling behind. He never said anything to me but expects me to just be cool with all his shit. 

Why is life like this with me? What this how it ends? With all the pain and crying? I'm suprised, I haven't run out of tears yet. Wouldn't it be so I would stop crying and no one would see me so vulnerable.

I don't give a damn on where my feet was taking me. I just took off and ran straight to the back yard. The garden. It's the only place in this huge lonely palace I feel peace in. It's like my safe place.

From all the hurt and pain it pushes away. I would love to stay in here my whole life. It'll be amazing, but I knew that would be an impossible thing to do. "Chérie? Mon amour?" The sweetness to his voice nearly broke me. Nearly.

I sat with a thud near the black roses surrounding us. He stood three feet away. From the corner of my eyes, his hands where in a tight fist. He kept clenching and unclenching them on his sides.

I just sat there as he begged for my attention. Silencily watching the admiring the pure beauty of this roses. I wasn't crying, but my tears where just falling. I wanted to laugh and ask if this is a joke was my life made into a joke. But I didn't find my voice nor a joke in that.

"Trésoro,  talk to me, please." He béant down my level. Coming to close for my liking. The scent of another female on him made me grimace. "You smell like a she-wolf." I chuckled sadly at my own words. A little suprise at the harshness in my own voice.

"Disgusting." My eyes met his and I nearly broke down. But sucking in a deep breath, I smiled. "Can I ask you a question?"

His eyes showed pain but I couldn't believe anything he showed or he acted against. He is simply playing me. "Yes my love. Anything." His hands raised as he tried to touch my cheek but I turned my head away, looking at the flowers, roses.

"Actually, two questions."

I didn't look at him as I spoke.

"I'm all yours." My heart beat quickened and I shut my eyes. Those words 'I'm all yours' I nearly laughed at that.

"Do you want me as a mate?" It was a simple no or yes that I want.

"Of course I do. Your my mate, soulmate. My everything, babe."

"Okay."

"Talk to me."

"Can you tell me what's going on and why is the a women in a room that you sleep with?" It should have been a one question, but it sounded like two at once.

Alberto's breath hitched and he became stiff. I stayed silence, hopping he'll say something. Just one thing and that'll keep me sane for now or prepare me for later.

The silence only made me more agitated, and I wanted to crawl in bed a blanket over my head and cry my heart out. This is tearing me apart. The wait is killing. I've never been desperate in my life like I am now.

Not taking it in anymore , I spoke up."Please have mercy on me? I'm your mate and your tearing me apart."

"Lena, babe-"