A rose to grind

-21-

I leaned against a pillar that was supporting the balcony from up over my head. It casted a shadow upon me, like a dark black hole, nothing in this shade seemed alive, not even me. I let out a drawled out sigh, fingers twitching; I wanted to have a smoke terribly. I wasn't keen on getting lung cancer, but, in the heat of the moment, after a discovery which I shouldn't have made, all I wanted was to breathe in the smoke and hope it'd cloud my mind, so that I would be unable to concoct any thoughts. I didn't want to think.

"1 million for nothing," I said aloud. But no one heard me. The vicinity around me was vast, and desolate. I thought no one would ever be inclined to come to such a gloomy place. "1 million to buy my time just to tell me shit. Fuck, I shouldn't have agreed so easily."

I ran a hand through my already messed up hair, wild and unruly. Sweat dotted my temples, and made stray strands stick to my forehead. It was sticky, and disgusting, but not even that seemed to vex me today. Louis, you sick, fucking bastard.

       ...

What was the point of venting out my grievances in this way? No one could heat or understand my inner turmoil. As usual, it was just me and my thoughts, drawn so clearly across my mind, like a ghost that followed me everywhere.

        "Ha..." I couldn't help but to sigh defeatedly.

        "Kai?"

I heard the crack of loafers against the marble pavement, alerting me of a newcomer. Even if I didn't hear the sound of the shoes shuffling, I could definitely hear the sound of her heaving breathing, so ragged and stagnant, that there was no doubt, that she was indeed searching for me. I brushed her off, and peered into the distance, and I kept my silence. She probably found it unwelcoming, but with the naive intransigence of a novel heroine, she approached me.

"You know, you're actually very rude," Selena said, and leaned against the wall beside me. She followed my eyes' direction, and reveled in observing the gradual swaying of dying trees, withered and old, that its skinny, lifeless branches were without leaves. Even if there were, they fell, plucked off the surface and unwilling laid on the ground. "I think that's what I like about you. It's an irritating quality...but at least you never change."

"Is this a roundabout way of calling me annoying?" I offered humorlessly. As I watched, there were no stars in the night sky, which was quite saddening. Stargazing was not my hobby, but I realized why it might have been many's. Just the thought of taking in the sight of a usually blank canvas, either filled with splotches or bedazzling, white, and pure dots, was fulfilling. Heartwarming but cliche.

        I felt her weak-willed eyes on me.

       "What if...I'm not actually someone you think I am?" Selena asked in a diminutive voice, wobbly, and cracked with the factor of an unknown emotion, to me, perhaps. I didn't know how to distinguish the feeling in her voice, but I could sense she was aggrieved, and distraught, just like the first time she became a student at Morrigan High, and was forced to give up on a childish dream she was one step away from achieving, all in the name of familial love. It was idiotic and witless of her. "You're always so particular when it comes to rules. So, if by any chance.."

"If you broke an important law, then don't tell me if it, I don't want to be interviewed by the police once they find out about you," I droned without much thought. But, in fact, inwardly, I knew what she was referring to exactly. But as of now, I couldn't reveal it to her. I was not in a favorable position to stir up trouble. Though, that was the reason for why such a character like 'Yugo' existed. However, if the character whose sole purpose was to disturb the female protagonist, what would happen if that very character deviated from the plot?