I.L.Y. - A MewGulf AU

Chapter 16: Behind closed doors

Entering the room where the workshop was held, Gulf couldn't shake the visions from the dream that were still playing in his head. It had been so nice, so perfect, almost everything he wanted and more. It was like his brain was playing tricks on him, showing him what he most desired but could never get.

His chest felt tight, breathing difficult as if he wasn't actually getting any oxygen. It wasn't that he was suffocating in air, no, he was suffocating on his own feelings. His head still somewhere far away while his body was moving through the room.

They sat on their usual spot, in the upper most corner with Mild left of him and Mew on the right. They had to keep appearances up that they were in a happy marriage, so they would always hold hands or lean towards each other for all the peering eyes. However, Gulf didn't feel like any of that now. He couldn't face the man, let alone touch him after what he had just seen in his dream. So, he wrapped his arms around his knees and only looked forward. Mew shot him a questioning look when he tried to grab Gulf's hand but the younger pulled away. His lower lip was sticking out a little in pout. Gulf pretended he didn't see, but his heart only tightened more at the action.

Could I bite that lip again? Take it in between my teeth like in my dream, make him moan in response and grab my hair in passion?

There was nothing more he wanted.

But there was no time for that right now. Maybe not ever. So, Gulf decided to focus on the middle of the room, where Mai was having a heated discussion with another actor's whole name he had forgotten. Although he wasn't entirely sure which scene they were playing, seeing Mai's angry yet sad acting impressed him. He felt like he could relate with her battle with the other actor, but then in his case it was a battle between his heart and his head. However jealous he felt whenever Mew was around her, Gulf for once felt a softer emotion towards the woman; like he could recognize himself in her acting. He wondered how she was showing her broken heart so evidently in her acting. He wondered if she were summoning her own personal and memories of a broken love.

It wasn't that hard distracting himself from his pouting husband like this, as he drowned in his own thoughts.

The universe had a weird way of playing with Gulf's feelings. Not even 30 minutes later the couple was approached by Director Lee, politely asking them to follow him to a side room. They were confused, being separated like this was a first for them, but they listened to him without questions.

Yes, the universe must love torturing me, Gulf thought as they entered the same room he had just returned from. Everything was as how he left it just before, and idly he wondered why Mild even had gotten him in the first place. Though he fully well knew this time they were here for work, not for naps. Not for beautiful dreams filled with once-in-a-lifetime kisses.

"I'm letting you guys off today so you two can practice on your own," Lee said as he mentioned towards the room. Gulf frowned, confused with what the director was getting at. Mew on the other hand just sighed. "I've talked about this with both N'Mild and you, N'Mew, I think you two should spend the rest of the day talking about whatever is going wrong between you two." Director Lee's voice was hard. "I don't want my movie to be ruined by marriage problems. You two have been in this industry long enough to at least know how to act professionally."

Gulf was stunned. He thought nobody knew what was going on between him and Mew except Mild, but apparently, he was wrong. On top of that, Mew had talked to the director about it, without even telling Gulf? He couldn't help but feel a pang of pain in his chest, once again his husband had done things behind his back. Really, he shouldn't be surprised by this. He wondered idly if this is why Lee had never discussed their kiss scenes with Gulf alone, always mainly talking to Mew.