I.L.Y. - A MewGulf AU

Chapter 25: Proposal

"Why I thought my love was a lie."

Except for the fact that you're an emotionally incapable asshole? Gulf wasn't sure where the words had come from, but he was glad he hadn't said them out loud. Although he was pretty sure Mew deserved whatever he had just called him, he preferred the calm tone they were talking in right now over more fighting.

So instead of voicing his thoughts and possibly escalating the conversation, he waited in silence for his soon-to-be maybe ex-husband to continue. He went to sit down at the table again, crossing his arms over each other like some sort of emotional barrier.

His stance suggested a silent and reluctant 'go ahead'.

Mew took a deep breath, glancing to the side. Gulf followed his eyes to see a butler approach their table, new fork in hand. He silently placed it on the table before leaving again. The way he bowed his head and tried to walk silently confirmed Gulf's suspicions that he had just heard them shouting. He couldn't help but feel a little awkward and anxious at that realization. Surely, he won't post anything about it online, will he?

"It's quite complicated and stupid," the husband eventually started when he decided the coast was clear. Gulf only answered in silence, stopping himself from expressing his annoyance as a reply. He had plenty of time but not much patience for the husband right now. Mew was finally talking to him like he had wanted so many times in the past, so the least he could do was listen to him. Whenever they had fought in the past, the elder has never wanted to explain why his love was a lie. Gulf had asked many times for an explanation, demanding that he deserved it, but the husband had only been able to answer with silence. Or the same old excuse that Tharn's emotions took over his own. This always ended up escalating the fight even further, until it became unbearable for both and they separated with bitter feelings.

Remembering the half-eaten food still standing in front of him, Gulf picked up his - Mew's old - fork to eat. Instead of thinking of the past, he should focus on what was in front of him. Right now, that meant the delicious yet tasteless food in front of him and Mew, who was struggling to find the right words.

When he grabbed his fourth bite, Mew finally seemed to come out of his inner discussion with himself. "We've talked about Art before, right? My old co-actor?"

Gulf hummed in confirmation. They had, although briefly. Mew had assured Gulf whatever happened between them was a mistake he regretted, and that he wanted to do anything to correct it. Gulf had answered in turn that it was alright, everyone makes mistakes, and that he should focus on the present and future instead of the past.

"Back then, after the things that happened... We had a big fight," Mew said, and Gulf couldn't help but bring his own input in.

"Yeah, it was quite big online. You told me to look it up," Gulf said. The thing is, he never did. At that moment, he decided that he would rather hear Mew's side of the story and pull his conclusions from that than be influenced by the media. Back then, he had already decided Mew was to be trusted.

Funny how right now, Gulf can't seem to give Mew his trust entirely anymore.

"When we met up, we also fought a lot, yelled and said a lot of hurtful things to each other," Mew seemed to want to ask something, but instead just continued his story. Gulf grabbed another bite in reply, still trying to busy himself before he did or said anything that he would regret.

Why are you reminding me about your ex-lovers when you're trying to prove your love for me is real? The only thing you're succeeding in is making me hurt even more. Is that what you want?

Mew's actions and words were so confusing lately. He continued his story, bringing Gulf out of his thoughts again. "When I confessed, he said to me that it was impossible for me to be in love with him." The elder looked down at his plate, a guilty look on his face. "Because it wasn't him I was in love with. Rather, it was my character that was in love with his character, and I was confusing it for reality."