Temptation 2

3 - madden

I feel like I am dreaming; I can hear Hero's voice shouting but that couldn't be true because that would mean he's flown all the way here from Hollywood and he couldn't do that—or he wouldn't do that. The blows to the head must really be fucking with me.

* * *

Hero bends down to me and places his warm and familiar hands overtop mine. "Madden, look at me." These familiar words are said to me and it's his voice. I want to jump for joy because he's here; Hero Tomlin is sitting in front of me, holding my hands. This is not me fangirling, this is me fully aware that the man I love is kneeling in front of me right now. I want to fall into his arms however, I am in a lot of pain. I slowly look at him and I can see the mixture of anger and pain fill his eyes. "You're here," I said and the anger he had in his eyes diminishes. "I want to know what happened if you want to tell me, but can I please bring you to a hospital?" "Hero take me home. Please." I don't mean the place I've been living with Tom. Tom has been a great host but that's just it—a host; a friend. Tom has been a place for me to stay without worries because I generally trust him, but I want to go home. When I say home; I mean OUR home; a place where I've never been safer. I'm really hoping Hero understands that I want OUR home.

"But you need a doctor..." he says to me. I look at him, my eyes flowing with water and I beg him to take me home. Hero removes his hands from mine and swoops me up into his arms. I burry my face in his shoulder and he calls out for the guard. The guard looks very concerned but allows us both to leave and Hero brings me out to the car while DJ pays off my bail. Bail wasn't too expensive; I didn't murder anyone. DJ and Mara sit in the front seat of the SUV and Hero and I sit in the back seats for some sense of privacy. I refuse to acknowledge anyone other than Hero; he is the only person I want right now. Hero specifies that we're going to our home address and my heart skips a beat. He understood me; he knows that there is only one home for me and it's where we are together.

* * *

Hero starts a warm bath for me, as I undress. I don't even try to cover myself in front of him like I would with Tom. Completely naked, I walk into the warm water and sit with my knees to my chest. Hero takes a cloth gently against my back and arms removing the stained blood on me. He takes the cloth to my face and as soft as possible he dabs the cuts on my skin trying to remove any gravel from them. In this very moment; in the silence and just through the care that Hero is taking with my body, I know that he still loves me. No other man would travel this far; risking their job to come to me and that's what he's done. A tragic event has brought me physical pain but Hero being here again with me, in our home brings me a love that refuels my being.

Hero helps me slip into one of his tees and a pair of boxers. It took some time to dry off and get some clothes on because I clearly have some cracked ribs from being kicked multiple times. He helps me onto the bed, and he sits across from me, trying to distance himself. I don't allow him to be far from me and I ask him if I can lay on his chest. Without hesitation Hero lays his head on the pillow and brings my head onto his left peck. I can hear his heart beating, loudly against his chest as if ready to explode and this reliefs me because I feel the same excitement to be with him again. "Mads, what happened?" I knew he'd want to know but I was enjoying our time together that I didn't want to ruin it with the mess. I don't move from his chest as I explain to him the incident.

I was very early to class yesterday morning because I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to be late. I hear Hero giggle under his breath; he just knows how OCD I can be about being on time, so it made him laugh. I was sitting in there, waiting for the rest of the class to show up so while I waited, I had my laptop open and well I haven't changed my screensaver from a photo of you. I haven't and will not let him go. While I typed some of the notes, I had made previously on the textbook, students started coming into the class; one by one or in groups of 2 or more. By 7:56AM the class was packed, and the professor had her computer set up, ready to begin teaching. There was a group of three girls with two guys with them sitting behind me and all class they were laughing and talking which drove me insane, but I ignored it. The professor ended the class, asking what love means to us. The fake blonde behind me raises her hand, acting as if she has the right answer: "Love is a necessity in life. Love is something that we need in order to survive but not because we feel it but because our families' name needs to continue. It's all about breeding, love itself does not exist." A few students fought her on it but when I stayed quiet, the professor called me out, asking my opinion. That's the torture I receive from sitting in the front of the class. "I agree, we need love to survive. Love is a concept that is really just unknown. Some people think they've felt love and then meet someone else they feel like they love more. Yet, love is on a spectrum where we cannot truly have one definition of what love is. It's a subjective term, so when you ask me what love means to me. For me love is unconditional; it is a feeling we endure negatively and positively. You can love someone so intensely but still hurt them. You can love someone but also hate them at the same time. I know my experiences of love are not the same as everyone in this room but the love I have for one person is a love I will never want to have taken away from me. I've suffered pain and happiness in my experiences of love and yet I wouldn't change one moment with the person I love." The professor loved my statement and ended the class there. She was so impressed with me that she didn't want to hear anything else because she was looking for someone to be the subjective voice and not the objective voice. As I was packing my laptop into my bag, the blonde girl and her crew of misfits stand above me, "How's your actor? Still drinking, is he? Wait—you're not even with him anymore. Must have found a new prostitute to pay." I decided to ignore her and walk out of the class. They didn't leave it at that. The group followed me out into the courtyard and started harassing me. "My anger got the best of me when they said to me that they've been sleeping with you." I tell him. I knew deep down that wasn't true, but it was the idea of it that set me off. I dropped my bag on the grass, and while turning, threw a punch at the curly red head. Her boy friends did not like that; she fell on the ground dramatically and the boys held my arms back while the blonde and the brunette punched me in the stomach and slapped me in the face. When the red head stood up, she pulled a small pocketknife from her bag and cut my arms and stomach. The boys let me go and I dropped to the floor in pain. That wasn't the end of it though, because the boys did not appreciate the way I hit their friend, so they started kicking me in the stomach and back. I was winded and I couldn't stand at this point. I take a deep breath before continuing. "You don't have to tell me it all tonight," he says to me as he runs his fingers through my wet hair. I caught a breath of adrenaline and stood myself to my feet. I grabbed the brunette by her hair and threw her to the floor; the blonde got a punch to the face and the ugly boy got kicked in the balls. The red head stood looking at the fake blonde boy and waited for him to do something. I started to walk away, and his first instinct was to take me by my head and drag me across the pavement. "Hence the cuts on my face," I say to Hero. It took security too long to get to us, and by then the fight was over but because it was five against one, I was the one put in jail and they walked out as if they did nothing.

Hero lifts me gently from his chest and we now sit face to face on the bed. "I'm sorry this is all my fault." Confusion hits my face and I notice the tears in Hero's beautiful eyes. Hero gets up from the bed and walks away from me. He goes to one of the spare bedrooms and hides from me in there. I'm trying to collect my thoughts and not to get angry with him. Hero feels that because of meeting me, taking me here and falling in love with me that he is the one to blame for all things that go wrongly.

This is the first time in months I've felt truly safe. Being in our bed together while he holds me is the most comfort I've had since he gave up on us. Yet, how quickly he came to me shows me he didn't give up on me then again, he pulls this and leaves me again. I know I cannot let him go this time because I can't lose him. I realize in all the pain I am feeling even just his touch numbs it all and I can't lose him—I need Hero.

I slowly get myself off the bed and walk to the first spare bedroom, closet to our room. I knew that he wouldn't go to one too far from me because he still has a need to protect me. The door isn't locked, so I walk in and find Hero laying on his back starring at the ceiling, tears falling from his face. I sit on the edge of the bed, "Hero, it's not your fault. If it's on anyone in this room, it's my fault because I refused to let Tom hire me security. I didn't want protection from Tom because I just wanted you. But we can't blame ourselves because that'll hurt us more and neither of us deserves to endure more pain." Hero sits himself up and I take his warm hands in mine. "We cannot control how people are going to react to us in public. Some people love you and will do anything to hurt me; others hate you and chose to hate me because of my relation to you. Then there's the few that accept me because they love you. It's the life you are in—" Hero interrupts me, "But it's not a life you choose." I scoot closer to Hero, practically sitting in his lap. "Hero, I choose you. It's always you."

Hero removes his hands from mine and takes my face in them. He wipes away the tears that rested under my eyes; I didn't even notice I was crying until he wiped them away. He pulls me close to him and stops before pressing his lips against mine. I can feel the hesitation as his breath hits my face, rather than allowing him to push me away, I follow through and kiss him. His lips are my home; the familiarity brings a shock through my veins as if to cure all the pain I have been through these months without him. Our lips fit together perfectly; our tongues twist with each other and we move our heads with the flow of our touch. Hero moves his left hand down the side of my body and placing it in the center of my back to support me as he lays me down onto the bed; without removing his lips from mine.

I don't know where our relationship stands but in this moment a title doesn't matter. I do know that I love Hero Tomlin and I know that he loves me just as much if not more. He feels everything so deeply and choses to hide from it through alcohol and drugs, yet this is the sober version of Hero and there is no hiding behind the substances; there's just us right now, in the spare bedroom.