The King's Remorse

Why Can't I Kill Him?

"Yeah?" A mask falls over me, and I do my best to imitate the model Soldier everyone thought I was. The model Soldier I'm as far as can be from.

"It's you. Oh, wow. I can't believe it's you. It's an absolute honor to be in your presence!" A smile spreads across a Soldier's face and his eyes light up.

"Thanks." I keep my voice monotone and expression level.

"Are you alright? You look different than normal." The other Soldier's eyes narrow.

"I'm fine."

"Why are you in this alleyway?"

"I thought I saw something." The lies slip off my tongue so easily. Like lying's become second nature to me. Like the lies I told that Guard who then went and killed Dove. It's my fault. My fault, my fault, my fault. The muscle in my jaw twitches but I don't let it happen again. A Soldier might be on to my lies. Maybe he'll report back to Bryant. Maybe I won't be the Dust Devil any more. Maybe, but I have to be the model Soldier.

"You look a little pale."

"I'm fine. Don't worry."

"What happened? You've never been pale before."

"You don't need to worry." I hold myself still, refusing to let my body take a step back or my eyes begin to search for an escape route. Stay calm. Remain in that bored, disinterested, relaxed position. Smug, you know you're better than them, the model Soldier who's the Dust Devil, the King of Ragdon's righthand man.

I stare down the Soldiers, falling into the guise I'd spent so much time perfecting, though perhaps it was never enough; 1 of the Soldiers seems to have seen right through it. All that time, for what? 1 Soldier has seen straight through it. Perhaps I'll never become that model Soldier I've tried so hard to become.

"Come on, we should be going. We can't be bothering the Dust Devil. I'm sure he has some very important things he's working on." The other Soldier motions for the Soldier who had questioned me to follow him. I raise an eyebrow in a silent challenge, ignoring the fact that I wasn't able to access the snake's powers due to Pisces holding my mind hostage and praying that the Soldier wouldn't be an idiot. Luck seemed to be on my side, and the Soldier watches me for a moment before bidding farewell and trailing after his counterpart. "My apologies for keeping you, Dust Devil."

"It's fine." I let a small bite weave its way through my words. You're the Dust Devil, the righthand man of the King of Ragdon. They're Soldiers. Don't be a jerk but let them know you're the Dust Devil. Don't forget the ranks in Bryant's army. You're at the top, 2nd only to Bryant.

I brace my hands on my knees when the Soldiers are out of sight. Nausea rolls over me, and I close my eyes, taking deep breaths until it passes.

"Dust Devil! There you are!" Curse you, world. I steel my expression, refusing to let Miles see any of the fear that was threatening to paralyze my body. Keep it together, Luke. Keep it together. Deep breaths. You're stronger than him, you're the Dust Devil. Yes, he's a doctor, but you're stronger. Don't listen to what he says; it's all lies. Lies he's spitting because it's not in your head, no matter what he says.

"I've been looking for you. Are you alright? You suddenly ran away." Miles keeps his distance.

"I'm fine."

"You sure? I want to make sure. Wolf said you almost died from hearing the Siren's Lullaby, and then you took a pretty hard fall shortly after. I just want to make sure nothing's going on that I'd be able to help with." Lies. He doesn't want to help. I open my mouth to reply, but before I can Wolf walks into the alleyway. Her gaze is distant and she seems to be holding herself together with fraying threads.