The King's Remorse

I Don't Think You Know What You're Saying Good Luck For

Time seems to come to a screeching halt. My heartbeat is the only thing I can hear. It doesn't feel right and I know it's a traitorous thing to say, something punishable by death, but I know it's the true.

It can't be true... but I know it is.

Tears leave behind salty trails on my cheeks.

My whole life has been devoted to becoming the best Soldier I can possibly become. I learned how to take care of my own wounds so I wouldn't have to return to the doctors and hear them say it was all in my head again. It had gotten me nowhere. I'd been fighting with myself, trying so hard to believe that Bryant was the rightful King of Ragdon, that you don't question him because he always has your best interests at heart, that you follow him because he sits upon the Amethyst Throne so he must -he must- be the true King of Ragdon, that Wolf and Dove are nothing more than selfish rioters who need to be dealt with swiftly.

My head falls into my hands, the hands that still don't feel like my own.

What am I going to do? I can't just walk up to Bryant and be like 'hey, I don't want to be a Soldier anymore.' He's not going to let me just walk away from that.

"But maybe I could try to make myself want to be a Soldier again, how I felt when I first started out as a new recruit. I'd be able to stop myself from feeling like this. Get my thoughts in line," I whisper to myself. "Yes, I just need to get my thoughts in line and then I'll forget about this.

Yeah, maybe that. I'll start by tracking down Wolf.

The trek to the White Tent Sea starts off much the same as the 1 to find Ice did: people stop me along the way, asking how I was doing and saying that it was an honor to be able to talk to me. My thoughts drift to Lynx as they speak, and I wonder yet again how he had seen through what I'd said so easily.

"Sorry, I really should be going," I say, interrupting a Guard.

"Oh, of course. My deepest apologies, Dust Devil. I'm so, so sorry. Please, forgive me!"

I guess there's something good about being the Dust Devil- I can get out of conversations at will.

After reaching the White Tent Sea, I begin my search for Wolf.

Kill her and bring her head to Bryant, and then perhaps I'll believe what Bryant is saying. Please, let that happen. I can't... just let me somehow learn to be like the other Guard and Soldiers and believe every word that comes out of Bryant's mouth without ever questioning him.

It soon becomes clear that Wolf isn't in the White Tent Sea. I've been walking around for several hours and have yet to see any sign that she is, in fact, here. Everyone I've asked says she hasn't been here since Arcane died.

That was, what, like a month ago? Wolf could literally be anywhere on Ragdon.

I exhale sharply. "Couldn't've I gotten some idea on where Wolf is? She could be anywhere by now," I mutter under my breath. "Wait, what, no. I'm going to track her down myself. Bryant has no obligation to tell me where she is; all he has to do is ask and it'll get done. He's on the Amethyst Throne for a reason. He doesn't have to offer his help or give a reason. What he says is law, no matter what."

Tracking down Wolf in the forests surrounding Bryant's castle and the White Tent Sea might add some time to when I bring Wolf to the foot of the Amethyst Throne, but I would get it done.

xxxx

Dried leaves and twigs crack beneath my feet as I wander through the forests bordering the White Tent Sea. Trees stretch tall toward the sky, casting dappled patterns on the ground. I haven't been this far from Bryant's castle or the White Tent Sea in... well, ever, I guess. It's always been dreaming about joining the ranks of the Soldiers or training to rise in the ranks of the Soldier.