Stars Of Life

✦ School Play

Emotions were alien. They were speaking to me that I will never got to see the another sunset. Strong wasn't a suitable word for them, it was blinded and dark. The door I had closed so hardly showed a sign that I don't want to step out. It was a breaking fling.

What was happening? What happened to me when he spoke? Although he didn't tried to hurt me but my heart ached like I broke up with my long lasted mate.

However it didn't last long and at night, I texted April telling my incapability to do the mission I planned. Fortunately she didn't ask many questions as if she knew the outcome and instead she told me that she will be here after new year for exams and high school graduation. I informed her that all thing was okay and I became. That night hazy figures came in my dreams startling me and faded away like mists in the daybreak. I related them as my fear, they must diminish with time.

Next morning, dad discovered new books with an envelope on the porch. He was amused when he found my name written on the cover and the sender was anonymous. Secretly, I knew who the person was.

The rest of the days till new year spent in solitude. Actually I didn't appear outside, it was my comfort zone that I never tried to break. Never extended to the level of adventure.

Because my heart felt weak.

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The people of this town welcomed January. Winter was still here. I watched outside through the window: the endless changes. Unique design of snow flakes, directions of chilly air swaying the pine trees, crystal clear sky and so on.

Our school reopened by the second week of the month. Wearing school uniform after many days felt different, something new about my body and height.

I stared at the walls few meters above the bed headboard. They were old but very precious. Some photos were new such as the day out with cousin Eric back in the month September. That day I spilled everything about my churning past; my first crush whom I loved deeply. And since his disappearance never got a single feelings for any guy.

I never admitted, if I could fall in love? Maybe after my 25th birthday or might be never?

My eyes moistened. I slightly pressed my eyes to hide the flowing when my mother knocked the door.

"Ready, Sage? Need help?"

"Coming, mama." I replied in a bold voice.

She returned from the door believing I was doing well with my hair. It would be very personal to tell other person that I used to call my mom to do my long hair for school that recommended a pony. Because, it wasn't in my hands to handle such a thick tress.

At school, the same old vibes except the time of graduation was coming very soon. All of the subject teachers spent first hour with us in a room counselling and telling about our final test. I listened carefully every time when they mentioned we have to choose our fields according to our preference and walk away to college life. And from that time, all of the students were talking about the real gossip of their lives. Well, that was heartfelt.

It was lunch hour. As usual, I stuffed my notebooks in my locker along with Julie and headed towards the school cafeteria. The view outside was cool yet the snow was falling softly like fluffy cotton balls.

"Is it me or the teacher's words that are emotional?" She grimaced. I had no words to utter and she wasn't expecting any, so she spoke, "So you started talking with April?"

"Yeah. She would be here if weather wasn't like this....since new year eve." My lips trembled with cold.

"So you are sad that the weather didn't make her journey into this town?" Her mischievous eyes sparkled. She didn't give me time to answer.