Saving Shaw

Fifteen

Eventually, I made my way downstairs. It took me a couple hours and a quick nap, but I finally felt a little bit better. Not entirely better, but enough to leave the room and show my face around the house. That, however, was assuming that I didn't run into Talon.

I hated to admit that Talon was right. Every fiber of my being hated to admit it, but I was afraid. Being scared felt like a weakness to me and no one liked to feel weak. It was just difficult for me to let people in. It had been difficult my entire life.

Maybe it was because I never knew my father and didn't have that relationship in my life. Maybe it was because my mother and brother had a family before me and I always felt like an outsider in the back of my mind. It could simply just be because I wasn't the best at making and maintaining friendships.

Either way, for the past several years I told myself that I was better off on my own. I was responsible and independent. I didn't need to rely on anyone else to take care of me. It also was a form of self defense. The fewer people in your life, the fewer people that could hurt you.

That didn't mean that Talon still wasn't a hypocrite. He was running away from demons just as I was. He was harboring feelings that he couldn't face. Most importantly, he was afraid of relationships, too. Maybe not friendships, but Arrow said he didn't date. That led me to believe that he had issues having relationships with women.

It made sense to me. Ever since I came here, Talon has been a complete asshole to me. He's been rude and just flat mean. Then the moment he starts being nice to me and starts getting closer to me, he does something even worse than he had before. If anything, he was more afraid of getting close to me than I was of getting close to him. Part of me felt sorry for him.

Though I guess all my worrying about seeing him didn't matter because for the second time today, Talon's car was gone indicating that he wasn't here. I was about to head towards the living room when my phone started ringing.

I made my way through the front door and onto the porch before checking to see who was calling. I was a bit surprised to see my brother's name appear on the screen. Hitting the talk button, I brought the phone to my ear. "I wasn't expecting you to call for a few more weeks," I said.

"Hello to you too, little sis," Carson said on the other line.

"Sorry," I said as I moved to take a seat on one of the adirondack chairs. "How are you doing?"

My brother cleared his throat on the other end of the line. "I was actually calling to see how you were doing. I got a call from your friend Chris the other day."

I let out a slew of curses in my mind. A few years ago, I'd given Chris my brother's phone number in case of an emergency. He must've tried calling me and found out my number had been disconnected. That was kind of a surprise to me. After our last conversation, I didn't think he'd be calling me any time soon.

"What'd he say?" I asked.

Carson let out a sigh like he was tired. He probably was. "He said he couldn't reach you, which is somewhat surprising because I would assume if you got a new phone number that you'd give it to your only friend." I opened my mouth to protest, but my brother cut me off as if sensing I was about to make an excuse. "I'm not finished, Shaw."

He was using what I liked to refer to as his "captain tone." It was what I assumed would be the tone he used on all of his subordinates in his military squad. It was a tone that always made me feel like a child or just someone inferior to him in general.

"He also said that he went by your apartment and your neighbor said that you ran off on a vacation with some guy," Carson said. "So I want to know exactly what the hell is going on, Shaw."