Come Back To Me

Ch. 13

DEREK POV

It had been one day into our weekend and Stiles had barely shown a hint of relaxation. Like he was waiting for something, a call from his parents maybe? Or maybe he was waiting for something to happen between us. But he failed to see nothing would ever come of our relationship if he stayed bottled up and tucked away from me.

The day had passed in a series of unchanging events. It started with breakfast in bed, that was quiet aside from silver ware clanking and slurps of orange juice. Followed by hours of tv.

In the end the night took us to the jacuzzi. It had been my suggestion, after all Stiles had been somewhat mute. It was like we'd get alone and he'd forget how to function. Like the years we shared before were gone. I was the only one holding on to what we used to be. I wanted him to not be afraid, I wanted him to know I had forgiven as soon as I had seen him.

I wanted him.

Someone had to take the initiative. Soundly I pulled at his waist, watching the bubbles move around our bodies until I finally settled him on the step between my legs. He looked around frantically in a way only Stiles could make adorable. It took a bit of nudging but I finally got him to get the hint and lean back, to finally rest against my chest. His shoulders still stood at attention, he clearly wasn't letting himself be with me.

Things were going to change, they had too. As nonchalantly as I could I ran droplets from my wet hands back and forth along his shoulder. Goosebumps rose across his back running down the sides of his body like a coat of armor. His breathing turned heavy as I attempted to speak. My voice low, quiet enough for him to hear but nosy bystanders would have to strain to understand a word I said "Do you remember when I first admitted I had feelings for you?"

"Ha!" the playful scoff that escaped him was loud, and took me by surprised "Don't you mean when I forced you to admit your feelings for me?"

"Not true. You had gotten drunk with Isaac and stayed with him at my place so your dads wouldn't know. You ended up kissing me, and I kissed you back until I realized you were drunk. I said and I quote 'as badly as I want you, I think you should be sober when we happen and you're too drunk right now' you laughed, then passed out in my bed"

For a minute he stared into space with a scrunched brow as he tried to think back to that night. In an instant it morphed into a look of surprise and realization "Oh my- I can't believe I forgot about that"

Without realizing Stiles had reclined further into my lap, his laugh slowly dying down "Yep. You didn't bring it up again so I just assumed you regretted it, then two weeks later you were shouting about me never making a move. So I kissed you again, and the rest was history"

"Wow. Look at us now" he whispered under his breath

"What do you mean?"

"It's just...we have this beautiful kid, all of these beautiful memories--but a broken relationship"

I tried not to let my voice give off how distraught the statement made me as I asked "You think we're broken?"

"I know I am" he whispered.

"Sti-"

My love. His face was serious, the steam from the water causing droplets of sweat to tear down his face as he stared off into the distance. I wasn't sure how the conversation had turned to serious so fast but perhaps I need to let things happen. Perhaps what was coming next was everything that need to be said to fix us.

"I'm not who I used to be Der. It's like that version of me died that night right along with my dad. And yeah he's here now but that doesn't mean I am. I can't seem to get myself back again. I went from the Stiles you knew to knowing myself only as a killer who had to leave his family and keep away from anything he could harm" he had begun to play with his pruning hands still not bothering with eye contact "I...I-I want to be the guy you fell in love with again, more than anything I do. You've given me a second chance so there's nothing I want to do but make you happy. It's just...I don't know who I am"

The boy was stubborn. That much I had always known about him, but it was how we balanced each other out. Because I'd never give up on him, despite the fact that he had probably already given up on himself "You, Stiles, you are a father. A great one at that, you're a friend to anyone who needs it. You're the guy who gave up everything he had to protect the ones he loved. You fight for what's right, you're a hardass that doesn't like being told what to do. And you are my mate. The man I will wake up to and share my forever with" finally he turned over his shoulder, just faintly, but still enough for him to get his eyes on me "It's hard now, to see what things can be like. But when you're ready you'll come back to me, and I'll be here still holding on"

And without words he did something unexpected. He threw his arms around me, hugging tight against my neck making sure that without a doubt he was as close as he could be.