The Words Unsaid

The First Time

The First Time

Christine Summer

That day was the fourteenth of October,

It was a sunny day, do you remember?

The wind in your hair, the sparkle in your eyes,

It melts me like an Indian summer to ice.

And I don’t want to say it but it felt awkward,

To be standing in front of you; flash backward,

To that time, between us, every conversation would end,

With sneers and jeers in every bend.

You tell me your secrets and I don’t tell mine,

Fearing that somehow you’d read my mind,

And know that all of those time I have,

Feelings unspoken, afraid it was love.

Under the canopy of a big tree,

Shaded but I could see,

Shadows play on your beautiful face,

Sweet words but I cannot taste.

I was breathless and so are you,

I was so caught up with everything you do,

Seven years and not the same,

Changed, even the way you say my name.

I know it started with just a jest,

But it made my heart pound in my chest,

Unexpected, this started with you and I,

Suddenly, ended with a quick good-bye.

I’d call you and your brother would pick up,

He would greet me with a cheery ‘what’s up’,

I’d try to talk but it’s your voice I wanna’ hear,

Seconds later I’d ask him if ever you were near.

And he’d tell me you’re not available,

What’s up with that? Unbelievable,

Have been calling you for the past two days,

I’m running out of words to say.

I’d try the next day and so on,

Thinking about, what went wrong,

It was perfect, it was magical,

Didn’t expect your love was so critical.

All of a sudden it was over,

Why so fast, you found another,

You say that I looked like her,

Is that what you say to the other?

She was your first love and you were mine,

Didn’t you know I wasted too much time?

Writing your name beside mine,

Like it was perfect, like it was fine.

You think it was nothing,

But for me it was everything,

You are the person that I trust,

But you let it all rust.

Have known you half my life,

Dreaming, someday I’d be your wife,

But it crumbled with every word you say,

Like sand castles on a rainy day.

I tried to smile as you walk away,

You didn’t even hear me say,

That I’ve loved you since the first day,

Even now, I don’t feel so okay.

The best twenty-eight days of my life,

Cuts through me like a knife,

And I’d go remembering that time,

Wishing you were still mine.

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For J.T. The first time that he noticed me, I felt like a million bucks. But after…well, let’s just say a penny’s worth would be better than what I felt. He was the guy who can puzzle me with just a hello. I’m still figuring out what he meant when he said goodbye. Maybe he just wanted it to be over.

Christine

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