How Do I Love Thee?

A New Dawn, A New Day

As the sun rose, I awoke. I didn't wake up on the lap of Ian in the back of a car. I woke up in a crappy motel bedroom. I heard laughter from the next room over and recognized it as Ian and Aaron's. They must have gotten me my own room. I rolled out of bed and went to look at myself in the mirror. I looked like I had just been hit by a Mack truck.

I had a large gash on my forehead running past my hairline. There was dried blood on my face and caked in my hair. There was dirt on me from head to toe. I groaned. I walked back to the bed and found a note. It read:

There are fresh clothes and linens for you in the bathroom. Just relax for now. We will leave when you are ready.

-Ian H.

I slightly smiled and and walked towards the bathroom. Sure as can be there was one of my own t-shirts and jeans laying there with fresh underwear and a bra. I walked in and locked the door.

I slipped off my clothes and laid them on the floor. I started the shower, let it warm to a comfortable heat, and stood under the stream. I let the water run down my body, soak through all the blood and dirt, relax my tense muscles.

I slowly washed my hair and body. I stood there for several more minutes before shutting off the water. I walked out of the bathroom with clothes in hand and sat on the edge of the bed. It was quiet in the room. I switched on the tv.

My head was still trying to wrap itself around what I had heard the night before. I got dressed, but still everything was just mechanical. I just moved. I didn't comprehend anything I was doing. After getting dressed I sat down again. I pulled my hair into a ponytail.

I sat there and let tears fall. I didn't make a noise. I pulled my knees to my chest and began to rock. Soon I heard a knock at the door. Quickly I wiped away my tears and answered the door to see Ian standing there.

"Are you ready?" He asked. I nodded and walked to the car with him. It was raining hard outside. I didn't notice much. I got into the car, Aaron and Ian in the front. As we drove I let more tears fall as I watched the side of the road. Neither of them noticed. I just sat there and silently cried for hours.