Desire for Eminence (Dream Series #2)

12

Choices

There are stories i dont wanna share and ours is one of it. We started as a mistake. I looked down as the tears continued to stream down my cheeks.

I walked out of the club sobbing.

Okay, Vale. Don't worry i stayed in my condo. Good night.

I typed a message for my cousin and desperately run away from the club. Gabi na at tahimik na rin ang daan maliban sa mga taong nagkakasiyahan.

I badly want out.

I shook my head and wiped my tears. Pumara na ako ng taxi para makauwi na sa condo.

I think its unfair for my child to be born in this world where everything is fucked up and miserable.

My child deserved better.

Walang kasalanan iyong bata para magdusa. I wanted a better life for my child and if it means a life without a father, i would still do it even it it hurts so bad.

Ayokong ipagpilitan ang sarili niya sa pagmamahal na hindi buong ibinibigay.

My child didn't have to suffer and experience the consequences of the mistakes i made.

We're better off without him.

In the end, I am always alone.

Nahihirapan akong ipikit ang mga mata dahil sa daming tumatakbo sa isip ko.

What's next?

I dont even know.

I am left alone again.

This time i am not fighting for myself but for my child's life. I needed to be strong. Kailangang kong magpakatatag kasi kung hindi ako, sino?

Naalala ko iyong pamilya ko sa Isla.
I dont want to see them disappointed.

I sighed when i realized another dream is off the list again.

I cant really stop myself from making bad choices, huh? I am so good at it.

Pain is slowly drowning me again, Holding my pillow tight and pressing it to my face as i lay down on my bed.
I wanted to shout. I felt the tears falling down from my eyes but i forced myself to be stronger, i gasped and breathe heavily. I tried tI'll muffle my cry as the clock tick by.

I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up when the sunlight peeped in my room. Tumayo na ako at isinara ang mga kurtina. I laid my bed again with my miseries inside my head. I want to wash my pain away.
Darkness slowly swallowing my sanity, i tried so hard to fight but defeatedly sighed as the tears started to drop again, allowing my depressing thoughts crowding my mind.

Maybe this is what i needed to remember the pain that once killed me so i wont do the things that brought me to this depressing situation again.

I needed this.

Maybe this time i learned.

My mind is filled with worlds left unsaid.

I shouldn't have cry and whined because of my miseries when there's a child inside that depends on me.

Nag-ayos ako ng sarili at naghanda ng pagkain. My eyes are a bit swollen but i covered it with makeup.

I wore my usual outfit, white top and jeans. Lumabas na ako ng condo pagkatapos kong kumain.

I went to the clinic and asked for further advice regarding about my pregnancy. My doctor allowed me to take a flight. It is safe to fly until thirty six weeks. I am still in my first trimester so it's safe for me to travel.