Love and Power

{8} Heartache

I had so many questions. Why was my blood like that of a unicorn? Why did I have the healing tears of a Phoenix? What am I?

My return to Hogwarts was- dark. I wasn't me anymore. I felt like I betrayed Draco. I betrayed the school.

I'm one of them.

Thankfully I didn't see Draco right away. I didn't want to. I didn't want to see him at all. As much as that breaks my heart, I'd probably fall apart seeing him.

No one can know. No one. No one can know what I've become.

I went straight to the Slytherin common room. Then up to the girls' dormitory. Pansy and Milicent were sitting on their beds talking.

"Ana! Where have you been?! You've missed all of the rumors about you!"

I ignored them. Fighting tears to my best ability.

"I bet she went to her dad. I bet he abused her. Haven't you heard about him, Milicent?"

"Shut up, Pansy," I mumbled.

"Have you seen Draco yet? My, he's been quite the mess without you. Had to go to Pomfrey. He passed out one evening because he hasn't been eating. You're killing him."

"Shut up, Pansy!" I turned to her, wand raised to her face. "I mean it! Shut up!"

"Something definitely happened to you, Anastasia. You're not you," Milicent said in fear. I stepped back, fear in my eyes. I pocketed my wand and swiftly left the dormitory.

I stormed down the corridor. Slamming into shoulders of those in my way.

"It's Anastasia!" Someone yelled.

"I heard her father beats her."

"I heard she's gonna take after her father."

"Does she know what happened to Draco?"

"Why was she gone?"

"Shut up!" I covered my ears as I started running down the halls. Someone grabbed my arm and yanked me into a classroom, then slammed the door and locked it. I fell back against the door and slumped to the floor. Sobbing.

"Crow, give me your arm."

Snape? Why does Snape care?

I held out my left arm. He jerked my sleeve up and nodded, then pulled it back down and dropped my arm back by my side.

"You can't tell anyone. You can't tell Malfoy. Especially Malfoy. In fact it might be best to distance yourself from him."

"Why do you care?!" I looked up at him through tears.

"That is none of your concern, Crow. Go. You have to remain under cover. Return to your classes. Anything you need concerning your health- you come to me. You can't go to Pomfrey anymore."

I stood and wiped my eyes, took a deep breath, and stepped back out into the hallway. I had so many eyes on me.

Including a silver pair. Joined with platinum blonde hair. And a worried expression.

"Ana?" Draco scoffed.

I felt Snape behind me. I knew he was watching.

I tried my hardest to remain composed.

"I can't see you anymore, Draco. I'm sorry."

"What?" He frowned immediately. "Wha- no? Why? Ana what happened?"

"I'm sorry," I bit my lip. "Please. Don't make this harder. I'm sorry."

I left him. And when I say I felt my heart break- I felt it. I choked on a sob and just continued down the hallway. I felt so many eyes. So many shocked stares.

I heard Draco yell after me, and it made me cry harder. So I broke into a jog and just went to my class. Care of Magical Creatures. Which meant conveniently that Blais was with me.

"Hey," He jogged up to catch up with me. "You've been gone for days! Have you seen Draco yet?"

"Yes," I answered numbly. "I have. I don't want to talk about it. Please. Can we just- pay attention to Hagrid for once?"

Hagrid instructed the class to pick an animal to study for a short essay. Then he let us go early to the library so we could look for books. I decided to stay behind, knowing Blais would just bother me.

I sat by one of the trees bordering the Forbidden Forest. Hagrid looked confused as to why I hadn't joined the rest of the class. "I'm already well educated on the animal of my choice. I don't want to be bothered by Zabini."

He encouraged me to go back up to the school anyway. So I did just that, and decided to sit in the Great Hall before potions. Knowing I'd have to deal with that next. Then my heart fell into my stomach remembering I have both Blais and Draco in that class.

I entered the classroom early. Snape was already inside, looking over a page in a textbook. He glanced up when he heard me set my bag on the floor next to my stool.

"I've moved you," He said. "You're up front with Finnegan and Weasley."

"Weasley?" I whined.

"You're not to be around Malfoy," Snape replied with a bit of a snarl. He seemed to soften his expression for some reason when I sighed shakily and blinked away tears.

I sat down silently and opened a book, then started doodling a black rose on one of the pages. Then immediately scribbled it out, remembering the vase of black roses Draco conjured for me in the library one time.

A Ravenclaw girl took my space at the table with Blais and Draco. I looked up and caught Draco's eyes. He looked concerned. And confused. And angry. But ultimately, I saw sadness in his eyes. His entire demeanor seemed dreary and depressing.

Seamus decided to lean over and mutter to me. "Where have you been? Haven't you heard all that's been goin' around about ya?"

I ignored him and just kept stirring the cauldron of potion. Ron was watching me closely. He was studying me. Like he saw my new persona and was both confused and shocked at my lack of Slytherin sass.

It almost looked as if he was... showing sympathy for me. Despite the fact that I nearly killed him last year.

"You've been the topic of conversation for days. Especially for us Gryffindors. They're saying your father is abusive. Is that true?"

"Bugger off, Seamus," Ron suddenly spoke up. "Leave her alone."

"She almost killed you, Ron. Why are you standing up for her?"

"Because she hasn't said anything to you. Leave her alone."

"Weasley, Finnegan," Snape walked over to our table. "I suggest you both shut your mouths and do some work before I take house points."

Snape walked behind me. "Very good, Anastasia. Keep it up."

Finnegan scoffed when he left to another table. "Since when was Snape nice to you?"

I just finished the potion and left the classroom. I stormed down the hall, up the steps, and into the Great Hall. dinner was soon and I wanted to get a seat at the end of the table before anyone else. I was sure no one would sit with me anyway.

Regardless, I had to get out of that classroom. And I didn't fancy the dormitory to deal with even the possibility of Pansy or Milicent.