speak now | grayson dolan

chapter thirty three: speak now

grayson

The church is filling up quickly now, which means my anxiety is growing rapidly. I'm sweating through my tuxedo and trying to catch my breath. As I watch Connor's family and friends pile in, I catch a glimpse of my parents walking through the doors.

Mom makes eye contact with me and smiles. "Gray, you look so handsome."

I pull her into a hug and grin. "Thanks, mom. You look beautiful."

"This place looks great. I love the flower pieces they have at the entrance." Dad nods while looking around the church.

"Kenzie made sure everything was perfect." I slowly say, trying to keep my cool.

"I can't wait to see her. I bet she looks gorgeous." Mom gushes.

"She definitely does." I mutter under my breath.

"How have you been? Are you okay?" She cautiously asks while giving me a stern look.

"Yeah, I'm doing fine." I lie through my teeth.

"Where's Ethan?" Dad looks around.

"Good question, I'll go find him." I excuse myself and walk toward the doors.

Stepping into the hallway, I see my twin and Adam fixing the collars on their suits. I let out an anxious breath as the rest of Connor's groomsmen start to line up.

Shit, I'm crumbling at the seams. I don't think I can pull this off. I can't pretend this whole magical wedding isn't utter bullshit.

"Did you guys fix everything?" Jade approaches them while sighing.

"Yeah, how do we look?" Ethan smirks at her.

"Let's just say you clean up very nicely." She adjusts his tie and smiles.

I slowly walk over to them and rub my lips together. "I don't think I can do this."

"Do what?" My brother questions while looking at me.

"Stand at the altar and act like everything is okay."

"What do you mean?" Adam furrows his eyebrows.

"This isn't right. Kenzie should be marrying me right now, not Connor." My voice slightly shakes.

Jade's eyes practically pop out of her face. "And you're just having this epiphany now on her wedding day?"

"I can't let her go through with it." I admit.

"Wait, are you actually going to stop the wedding?" Adam asks in a shocked tone.

"I don't know, I need to tell her once and for all that I love her." I can feel my palms begin to sweat as my anxiety kicks in.

"I'm all for you expressing your feelings, but if you do that, Mackenzie might never look at you again. She might hate you even more for ruining her wedding. She's been waiting for this moment for years." Jade exclaims. That thought causes my stomach to turn. I hate that she's right. Kenzie will be furious with me.

"Yeah, I agree with my sister for once. That might be more chaotic." Adam nods.

"Think it over before making any irrational decisions." Ethan chimes in.

Well, I already made a major irrational decision before. And look where that got me.

Before I can say anything else, a deep voice calls out to me. "Grayson."

Turning my head, I see Connor standing in his tuxedo. A small grin is on his face. "We're lining up now."

"Okay." I stutter while nodding.