speak now | grayson dolan

chapter thirty four: you belong with me

mackenzie

A part of me feels like what happened at my wedding was a dream. I know I was standing at the altar, wearing a beautiful gown, looking into Connor's deep blue eyes, and bracing myself for my vows. And then everything shifted. Grayson spoke up and stopped my world from spinning.

It's taking me a while to process everything that happened. Of course I'm having mixed emotions about it. My heart aches for Connor. I never meant to hurt or humiliate him the way that I did.

But at the end of the day I need to accept the fact that he's right. I do love him, but I'm in love with Grayson. I felt guilty for having those lingering feelings, but how can I deny them now? They've been going on for a year.

He stopped my wedding because he knew I would regret marrying Connor down the line. In a way I'm glad that he did. It killed me to wonder what his true feelings were.

I wish he would've told me sooner, but it wasn't the right time. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so this was meant to happen.

I've been staying at my childhood home with Mom and Charlie as a way to give Connor some space. I'm finally heading over to the apartment to collect my things. I want to move home and be with my family during this difficult time.

It's been a week since the wedding and I've been off the radar. I haven't spoken to Connor at all. Grayson has been giving me the space that I needed, which I appreciate.

I know I need to face him soon, but first I need to make peace with Connor and see him one last time.

As I pull up to our apartment complex, I exhale a shaky breath. I don't know how this interaction will go.

I'm assuming he's still going to be upset, not that I blame him. I broke his heart in front of his entire family. His father looked pissed as I stood at that altar and confessed I was in love with another man. That look will haunt me forever.

My body trembles as I enter the elevator and head up to the fifth floor. I'm expecting Connor to slam the door in my face, but I need to get my stuff sooner or later.

All of my belongings are in that apartment. I can't leave anything behind, especially my camera equipment.

When I reach the door, I look down at the key in my hand. I should probably knock, but I put down most of the money on this place. I have every right to show up unannounced to grab my things.

Sighing, I slowly unlock the door. My eyes grow wide at the sight in front of me. The apartment is half empty. All of Connor's stuff is gone. Furrowing my eyebrows, I head straight for the bedroom and look around.

My clothes are still neatly placed in the drawers and closet, but his side is all empty. Walking into the bathroom, all of his toiletry items have also vanished.

Feeling a weight on my chest, I walk back into the living room. Besides his stuff, everything is still perfectly in place.

A folded piece of paper on the coffee table catches my attention. I grab onto it and unfold it. It's a handwritten note from Connor. My stomach is already beginning to drop. I inhale a breath and look down at his words.

Mackenzie,
As you can tell, I moved out of our apartment. It didn't feel right to stay here anymore, it hurt too much to relive the memories we shared. I'm staying with some family in Portland for the time being. I needed to get out of South Carolina in order to clear my head. As shocking as it may be, I don't hate you and I'm not mad anymore. I just wish our time together wasn't wasted. I meant what I said at our wedding, we were in love with the idea of being in love. Although it does pain me, I know we'll both come out of this stronger. I don't fault you for being in love with Grayson, it was simply bad timing for us. But just because I moved out of here doesn't mean that you have to. You spent months decorating this apartment and making it perfect. You should stay in it for as long as you want. I left my key by the stove in the kitchen. I wish you the best in the future and hope you find everything that you're looking for. I'm sorry I couldn't be your prince charming, but somebody else is. I will always love you, but this is for the best.