speak now | grayson dolan

chapter thirty one: all too well

grayson

-seven months later-

I quickly swipe a glass of champagne off a tray passing by. The man holding onto it turns to look at me, giving an odd glare. He knows I've been snagging these alcoholic beverages all evening. I need something to numb the pain.

This dining hall is decorated beautifully, not that I expected anything less from Kenzie. She's had an interior designer on speed dial since she was a kid.

As everyone walks around and mingles, I stand frozen in the corner, watching it all unfold. Half of the room is filled with Connor's friends and family, the other half is filled with Kenzie's. We're celebrating the happy couple who is tying the knot in two days.

As much as I hide it, my heart has been shattered these last seven months. I can't believe I was going to tell my best friend that I was in love with her, but all she had to show me was that rock on her finger. That's when my dreams of being with her flew out the window.

Kenzie has been by my side for years, I couldn't be selfish and express my love in front of her new fiancé. She's talked about marriage for as long as I've known her.

My mind flashes back to her making vision boards about her wedding. The dresses, the favors, the decorations, the theme. She had it all mapped out.

And what did I do? For years I dismissed her and her thoughts on a forever love. I laughed and made a joke of being with somebody forever. I wanted to continue being a manwhore and sleep with as many women as I could.

Little did I know that I actually did want those things in the end, with her. But now it's too late. For seven months I've been the carefree best friend that I've always been. Our relationship slowly went back to a normalcy, but we'll never be the same around each other again.

I walk over to my table, trying to look at anything but the bride-to-be. Ethan and Jade are sitting down, laughing their asses off. I could use a good joke right now, so I plop down next to them.

"What's so funny?" I look around.

"Nothing, Jade is just being silly." Ethan rolls his eyes at her.

"I think you've had too much champagne, mister." She giggles.

"Gross, you guys are being all cute. Spare me." I shake my head. Ever since Jade ended her fling with Emmett, she's been taking her mind off of things by hanging out with us a lot.

I don't mind having her around more, especially since Kenzie is busy planning a big wedding and getting settled in her new apartment, but that void is still there. I've tried to focus on my work and friends, but it's hard.

"Don't act like all of a sudden you hate love again." My twin mocks me.

"I do hate love." I scoff.

"Okay, we're not going to go there. We're at Mackenzie's rehearsal dinner, we can't dwell on the past." Jade exhales a breath.

"And you're in the wedding party." Ethan reminds me.

Not only did I have to deal with that awkward interaction at her house, but she asked me a few months later to be a groomsman. Connor thought it was a good idea, stating he's clearly oblivious.

"I'll suck it up for her." I mutter and glance across the room.

Kenzie is talking to Connor's father. There's a big smile on her face as she shows off her ring. I will admit, it looks stunning on her. She knows how to rock a piece of jewelry, she's been wearing my necklace for months.