Hidden by the Moon || MYG Werewolf AU

Part 22

A week.

A week since He left me. All alone. Empty. Nothing to fill the gap He left. Just emptiness. Waves and waves of loneliness, hitting me until  I screamed, screaming all alone, in my room. His arms weren't around me, holding me, comforting me. He wasn't there. Yoongi isn't here.

"Tae Mi?"

Hobi's face appears in the gap in the door.

"I have your lunch."

I haven't eaten lunch in days. I haven't eaten much in weeks.

"Do you-"

He stops himself halfway through his sentence. I know what he was going to ask, what they always ask. 'Do you want to come out?'. No point in asking anymore, since I don't reply. I didn't speak much nowadays, other than screaming and crying, if that counts.

Hobi slips through the gap in the door, tray in his hands, holding some sort of steaming soup, side dishes, and a small mug of tea. What a waste. A strong savoury smell drifts through the room, permeating through the musty stench after weeks of not leaving here. Turning to look at my shrunken, defeated self, currently wrapped in blankets, Hobi takes a step towards my bed. Gently, as if he expected me to break at his touch, Hobi rests his hand on my shoulder. I ignore him, instead drawing the collection of His clothes I had piled around me closer, and focus my eyes on the wall opposite me.

After a while, Hobi drops his hand, and walks out of the room, taking the breakfast tray with him.  The strong smell of kimchi and meat filling the room is too much to ignore, too tempting after days of not eating. If I could get out of bed, maybe I could try, or at least look at the food. Maybe.

Taking a deep breath, I drop my gaze from the wall, and untangle myself from five of His t shirts. A slow and almost futile effort, the simple task taking a half hour to do. How am I supposed to get to the food, let alone eat. Maybe I shouldn't, it's better here, on the bed. It's better alone.

If Yoongi isn't coming back, maybe there's no point waiting.

———

A soft breeze plays with the white gauzy curtains, flicking around the papers on the dressing table. The windows are thrown open, allowing some air to penetrate through the stodgy summer heat, but not doing much to my sweating body. Lying spread-eagled on the bed, I decide to go to the bathroom, to cool my flushed face with cold water.

Tottering out of bed, ignoring the soaked through t shirt I am wearing, I head to the bathroom, turn on the tap, and splash blissfully cold water onto my neck and face. Running a hand through my wet hair, I look up to the mirror, and almost jump at what I see looking back. My face was one thing, but in the corner of the mirror, in the window, I thought I had almost seen a ghost. Or at least a flash of something dark. 

Was it... could it be? There was a small chance. He might have-

No. Shaking my head, I take a deep breath to steady myself. Yoongi. Is. Not. Coming. Back. Get that in your head you delusional bitch. He's not coming back for you. Yoongi has left, and he's not coming back. All because of me and my stupid arguement. Stupid, stupid, stupid. My nails dig into the palms of my hand, the pain a welcome distraction. 

Straightening up, I take my hands off the sink, and hang them by my side. I pad silently to the bed, curling up underneath the covers and hug a pillow, ignoring the swimming thoughts in my head, ignoring the endless possibilities. After a while, I drift into an uneasy sleep.

In the woods, alone again. Mum had gone off somewhere, probably to find food. She wouldn't find anything. The fire had scared all the prey away. There was nothing to hunt anymore, and all the trees had burned down, leaving only a smouldering, blackened mess. Drawing my knees closer to my chest, I ignore the sounds of a dying elk, focusing on trying to breathe. After inhaling so much smoke it had been hard to get my lungs to work again, but I was trying.

But trying wasn't good enough. My breathing became shallower, quicker, and the sounds of the elk, the crackling on a dying flame, the smoke smell lingering in the air, the smell of burned flesh, swam around my mind. I squeezed my arms over my knees, rocking back and forth, crooning to myself softly, 'I'm okay, it's okay', again and again, the whispers turning louder and louder. I was shouting now, shouting in the ashes of a forest, screaming, my eyes screwed shut, tears cutting through my ash streaked face. Thoughts sprint through my mind, knocking about in my head. I'm okay. It's okay. I'm fine. It's not okay. I'm okay. I'm not fine. Nothing's fine. We're dying. We're dead. We-

With a thud I fall to the floor, my legs entangled in blankets I'm trying so desperately to get off. My knees hurt from the force at which I had fallen, and my throat was constricted and tight, not a sound coming out, just a silent scream. Yelling in my mind, I claw at my neck, trying to get  breath, to fill my lungs with something. Finally, after my neck has become bloodied with nail marks, I can breath again, gasping in welcome breaths of hot, humid air. I strip off my soaked through, slightly bloody t shirt, and try to move my shaky legs to stand.

Slowly, I stumble towards the balcony, just in my underwear, and slump down, sitting and breathing heavily. I look to the forest, where the pine and cedar wood trees stand tall, refreshingly green and the scent of resin drifts from the woods, a smell I breathe in gratefully. I need to get away for a bit. Maybe the forest would do me some good.

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Wtf the fireworks outside sound like people whining um-

 Saiki and Tsukki need to step on me and degrade me please.

Also two weeks of online school bitches suck on that you overworked students.

Love you and please don't stop reading istg I'm trying to update