Slowly Driving Hogwarts Insane...(rewriting once again)

The act

Being quite winded, Harry takes a few deep breaths before realizing what Salazar had said. How would he know of snake when Snake is a wee baby hatchling. Pulling a surprised pikachu face harry starts to question his whole life, who's to say he was only a figment of his imagination or in reality harry was a robot without even knowing it. Salazar just stared in contemplation and hilarity finding the situation quite amusing, the boy had no idea how much of a trickster he could be. Quite a few minutes passed of Harry revaltuting his whole life while Salzar watches, the best duo of course. Breaking out of his thoughts Harry decided to try a new trick he learned just recently, asking politely. I mean the man has no adult figures in his life who won't stop shouting at him so of course he's going to think that's the appropriate response to questioning.

"Where have you met Snake?"

"......" both Snake and Salazar were speechless.

" Harry, I literally told you I knew the old man.." Snake quitelyl hissed.

"..."

"Oh yeah!"

'There's not a thought behind those eyes'

"So how has your day been, Sal of the Snakes?"

"It was fine until you came along," Salazar said with a forced smile.

"That's rude"

"That's the point child, anyways other than giving me my precious snake what do you want small gremlin?"

"I to be honest forgot why i came here :D"

Salazar seems to like his hand slapping his face because recently its been there too often.

"Why did your hand make acquaintances with your face?"

"You're a problem child, how have you survived this long? "

"Honestly i have absolutely no clue, was probs because I told half the population I was pregnant"

"Hold the cow utters.... You told the school you were pregnant?"
(if you get that reference you the real og)

"Yes yes i did,"

"Well what was the response?"

"This really pretty pin that says Harry Potter more like Harry Father! I think it was supposed to be a really mean pin but it's cute!"

"Has this school gone barmy?"

"ABSOUT-FUCKING-LUTLY! Honestly where have you been Sal the cal it's been like this for years my dude,"

"..."

"Oh right,"

"Yeah.."

"...."

",,,"

"Sooooo how have you liked the room!"

"Its efficient and convenient,"

"That's good that's good,"

......

"WILL YOU LET ME EAT THE CHICKEN!"

"FOR THE FUCKING LAST TIME NO!"

"~I got sal to sweaaarrr.. ~ I got theeee salazar the slytherin to sweaarrrr~"

Salazar has as you've seen gone crazy from the madness of this boy. Yet it was quite charming to see how much Harry has changed in just a couple of hours, due to someone being there for him. Sal has become quite fond of the boy, therefore to keep him safe Sal will slowly teach Harry how to detect manipulation and anything other than following people with blind faith.

For the next few days Harry had been trying to keep a low profile until the 1st task, the keyword is 'try' people have been following him around with the potter stinks badges as well as harry potter more like harry father. While he was quite proud of the last one he really just wanted to be along with Snake and teach him how to swear, since he wasn't getting that time he decided to start with his plans. Plan 1 make everybody think he was crazy, while that seems very hard to accomplish. All he has to do is to start speaking like Luna Lovegood and he would be on the run. However to make sure people really knew he was crazy he was also taking professor trelawney's route to tell them when they or their best mates are going to die while being so inaccurate it physically hurts.

Now knowing his plan he has to find his first victim which wasn't hard due to the mob of students, quickly looking through he finds Draco poo.

Smirking internally he glazes his eyes over and wobbles around, the crowd makes a path for him to get the Draco. It was quite easy which was surprising.

"Draco! It's so nice to see you haven't been taken by the whackspirits or the hobbgoblins, I was worried for a second. " With glazed eyes and wobble in his step Draco takes a semi step back in disgust.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you pottah!?"

"What do you mean, have the nargles gotten in there and stolen any memory of me,.... i know i said i was pregnant but do you really think i've got something wrong with me?" Harry said in a sad tone of voice.

"Well of course there's something unscrewed up there you sack of flavorless shit"
(i know it wasn't that clever of an insult but draco seems to be the type to have awful comebacks if taken by surprise)

Harry now proceeds to start chasing Draco around the halls trying to give him a big ole hug with warm and affection of course since Draco doesn't receive love from family.

"GET THE BLOODY HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU POTTER FUCK!!!"

"DRACOO POO I'M ONLY TRYING TO HUG YOUU!!"

Screaming down the halls the crowds continued to part for both Draco and Harry. Until Harry happens to hit someone with large amounts of force.

Falling down Harry stares down in disappointment; he only kept the act up for 5 minutes before being stopped. Pouting he looks up to see Professor Snape. 

Oh shit