Chloe lay silently in bed, listening to the rain pitter patter outside. Occasionally she’d look over to the window where the blinds were still drawn back and watch the water droplets reluctantly slide down the glass. Joe was lying on the bed beside her, snoring away; he said he had slept a little the night before, but Chloe knew better. She could tell that he hadn’t gotten any sleep at all. And sure enough, as soon as he got to her room and in her bed, he was fast asleep, eyes closed and breathing through his open mouth. She glanced at his figure, sprawled out across the bed, his arm pressed against her side and his head leaning against her shoulder. He looked so angelic and peaceful. It was rare that anyone got to see such beauty. Chloe felt privileged.
It seemed that it was her turn to get no sleep. Even though her eyelids felt heavy and she was exhausted, sleep just would not come. Instead, thoughts were running crazily through her head. She was going home tomorrow. And honest to God, she was so scared. Her relationship with Joe was falling to pieces, and going home was really going to be it. She knew this wasn’t going to be the real goodbye, but the real goodbye was definitely going to come soon after. She didn’t want to let go, though.
Chloe squeezed her eyes shut hard; but even so, a few tears managed to leak out of the corners of her eyes. She wiped them away. She hated herself for bringing this whole thing on. If it wasn’t for her…if it wasn’t for her, everything could be so perfect right now. If she had been strong enough to be alone, if she hadn’t broken when she saw Joe again, if she hadn’t said half the things she did say. Half of her so regretted the fact that she’s the one who brought on the ending of this relationship. But the other half was self-defiant. No one deserved to be left alone all the time. She didn’t like that and didn’t want to put up with it. Her feelings were expected and normal.
But still - perfect perfect perfect. It was the only thing she could think. She and Joe have had so many perfect times together. They were so perfect. Even the times that weren’t perfect were still somehow…perfect. Flawless. Amazing.
It was then that an idea popped into Chloe’s head, and before she knew what she was doing, she got out of bed, careful not to jostle Joe, and pulled some jeans and a shirt on. She grabbed her purse and room key, pausing to kiss Joseph on the forehead. He mumbled something nonsensical and then snuggled into the pillow. Chloe left the room silently and walked a few blocks to the Wal-Mart she had caught a glimpse of when they first arrived at the hotel. Thank God for supermarkets that stayed open for 24 hours. She went to the office supplies aisle and picked out a non-descript purple notebook. Upon a second longer of thought, she grabbed two more. She also picked up some blue ball-point pens and a black Sharpie.
Chloe exited the store not five minutes later, after using the self check-out and getting a few confused glances from the workers. As she started the walk back to the hotel, she realized that it was lightly snowing. Living in California, Chloe rarely got to see snow. Her relatives in Michigan always mocked her for being so amazed by it.
She turned her face up the sky and let the snow land on her face. It was cool and felt amazing on her skin. A tiny smile spread across her face. It was a going to be a good day.
When she got back to her hotel room, she put away the things she had purchased, put her pajamas back on and got in bed. She snuggled into Joe, and he unconsciously wrapped his arms around her. She whispered “I love you” to his still peaceful face, and was finally able to drift off to sleep herself.
In the morning, she made a vague comment about not being able to sleep well and Joe frowned, saying that he slept perfectly, no interruptions all night. Chloe smiled to herself at that comment, proud of her quietness and apparently stealthy ways.
Over the next few days, the remaining days of her trip, Chloe spent every spare moment she had writing in her new journals. She started writing the same day she bought the journals, in the afternoon, when the boys were at sound check. She hung back in the bus, claiming that she wanted to take a nap.
