She Was Like a Bright Light

Vivica

I wake up with a start.

My vision is blurry and the room sounds echoey. But my heart is firm at the coldness. My arms shake and the pain is unbearable. Especially without my daughter's warmth.

Finally, the world is clear now and I look around at nurses. I try to stand but a certain nurse holds me back. "Please. Lay back down. You're very hurt."

"My daughter," I weakly say. "Where's my daughter? Where is she? She needs me."

"Don't worry, Vivica." I now recognize Grace with her bright green eyes. "You're in good hands. You're back at the facility. You're daughter is at the children's section--"

"No," I say with a shaking head. "No. She needs me. I--"

I try to get up again and now Ashley holds my shoulders. "Vivica. Lay back down. She's fine. She's with Anna."

I let out tears at my emptiness and the chill over me. I let out a sob and I can see Ash coming over the side where I've buried my face in the pillow. She turns on a small television on my side of the wall, and I fall silent at the image of my daughter on a small hospital bed. She cries and cries so sadly. That familiar adrenaline runs faster as I try to get up. "Hazel! She needs me!"

"Hey!" I feel strong arms on my shoulders this time and I see Shaun's bright eyes in front of me. He has his brow with sweat but his expression gentle as he tries to lay me back down.

I don't think twice. My mind is stuck on my daughter and that adrenaline makes me forget that he is my husband. I let anger strike up inside of me at the sound of my daughter's cries and say, "What the are you doing here? Don't leave her alone!"

I don't mean to sound angry. In fact, my heart is jumping with joy at finally feeling his hold. But my mother instincts keep kicking in and my eyes land back on my daughter. She kicks and cries, and my heart melts. I look back at Shaun and he lets go of me with surprise. I want to tell him that I love him. That I long for his hold. But when I turn away from the small television again, he is gone.

I let out a sob and finally let the pain distract me. I see people in white lab coats among my watery eyes but the pain makes me fall deeper. My whole body shakes and I can barely feel their needles as the torture from earlier start its effects on me.

The last thing I see as my vision grows dark is my daughter crying as she looks up at Shaun who finally crouches by her side.

I wake up again and the first thing I do is wince. It feels like a dump truck just ran me over. I try to move my arms and a shot of pain makes me stay still. I turn my head and see Dina sitting by my side. She looks up when she hears me move and quickly stands up.

"Hey," she gently says. "How are you feeling?"

I do a small chuckle and even this sends a wince up my face. "Everything hurts." My brain slowly comes back to life and my eyes grow wide at the emptiness in my heart. "Where's Hazel?"

I try to sit up, but Dina gently stops me. "Don't worry. She's asleep. They've taken care of her. She's okay."

I stay still at her words. I'm left in shock at first until tears fall out and I let out a sob. My sister softly puts me back on my pillow and I let her kiss my forehead.

"She was hungry. Did she--"

"Don't worry. Anna got her favorite plate and gave her some food. Don't worry. She's okay."

I say in a quivering voice, "Okay. Thank you.....Thank you....."

Dina runs a tender hand through my hair and lets her tears fall out, too. "I thought I lost you. I'm so sorry...I should've been there. I should've known...."