A Court Of Flowers And Shadows {Azriel Shadowsinger}

Chapter Twenty-Two

As many people know, there are some things that can have someone running from their home. This can be in a bad way, as in someone's chasing them or they're terrified. It can also be in a great way, to go meet their lover or just to run to get that bubble of laughter that you can feel grow in your chest.

Amara knew all of this already. She experienced it the first time she saw Azriel during the Blight. She hadn't even hesitated to think when she'd seen that flash of blue. She'd just grabbed her coat and ran. There wasn't a reason to stop and think because what if he was there and she didn't show up in time? What if he left? What if it was actually him and he was going to whisk her away? Well as we all know, none of that happened but Amara had hoped. Amara always hoped.

That's why she didn't hesitate again when she saw and heard something else this time.

A flash of red.

A flutter of wings.

The sound of a laugh that she knew all too well.

Cauldron, she'd missed that laugh. She had missed it so much more than she ever thought it was possible to miss a sound. In fact, the last time she'd heard it, she'd wanted to punch the person that the sound belonged to. She hadn't wanted to be around him and his teasing so she'd left the room and now she was realising just how much you could miss the sound of someone's laugh. But even that didn't bring a smile to her face. She actually couldn't even remember the last time that she had actually smiled. A real, genuine smile anyway. All her smiles were fake lately to keep up the image that seemed to be so important.

That didn't change the fact that she got up and headed in the direction of the little clearing in the woods that she always met one of them near. She'd always known that she hadn't been crazy. That there had always been at least one of them checking up on her every now and again but they had never confirmed or denied it. This just confirmed everything that she already knew though.

When Amara got to Cassian, she noticed that his smile faltered a bit when he saw the state of her. It wasn't that she looked terrible, she looked great, but that was the problem. She looked too... perfect. Even the scars that lined her face seemed almost too immaculate. Some might have thought that she put them there herself and made sure not to scar herself in the most damning of ways. She looked almost like she was trying to make up for something that she felt like people didn't want to see. Cassian couldn't help but wonder whether Tamlin or any of the others had noticed the problems with how perfect Amara looked. He'd noticed instantly but he always noticed these things about her. It's hard to be someone's best friend for over half a century and not notice... so surely her brother, who had known her for all 263 years of Amara's life... surely he would have noticed?

"Az is worried about you," Cassian said lightly as he and Amara laid on the comfortable ground. Amara didn't respond so Cassian continued. "Apparently you haven't been replying to his notes."

"Well, apparently I need to grow up and get over myself so I didn't think he'd really want me to reply," Amara said quietly. "Besides, I don't really have much to talk about right now so I apologise but you might have wasted a trip."

"Well, personally, I would not find a trip here to see you a wasted trip." Amara was about to speak again but Cassian cut her off before she could. "Plus I mainly came here to drag you back to Velaris with me because Az won't stop moping and Mor needs her best drinking buddy back."

"I can't just leave. Feyre and Tamlin are getting married next week. He'll kill me if I leave."

"Well, Rhys told me to tell you that it's either you come willingly or I have to kidnap you so that you start living up to your part of the bargain."

"You aren't taking no for an answer are you?" Amara asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"No, not really. I thought this was what you wanted? For one of us to come get you?"

"It was... now I'm not really sure what I want."

"I think we both know what it is you really want," Cassia said softly as he looked over at her.

"If you say it, I will cry and I don't think I'll stop," she admitted quietly, still looking up at the sky. "So please don't say it."

Cassian nodded lightly and held her hand, lacing their fingers together. He smiled slightly when he realised she was wearing the ring he'd carved for her all those years ago as a fake engagement ring. Her father had wanted to marry her off but Amara hadn't wanted that. He couldn't marry her off if she was already engaged so Cassian had carved her a ring and they said they were engaged. Cassian had gladly taken that beating from Az over it but Amara didn't know that had happened. He'd just wanted Amara happy and Cassian would do anything to make that happen.

"Fine. I'll go willingly," Amara said softly in to the peaceful quiet that surrounded them. At least, it was peaceful to Cassian. It was suffocating to Amara. "But I need you to do one thing for me."

"Anything."

"I can't be left alone with Rhys."