A Court Of Flowers And Shadows {Azriel Shadowsinger}

Chapter Forty-Seven

The nightmares were back.

Amara hadn't even fallen asleep yet but she already knew that the nightmares were back. She had known it from the second that she and Azriel had started the walk (and then the flight) home. She'd laid down in his arms, her head against his chest and she willed herself to not fall asleep. Az had noticed that something was wrong but hadn't said anything, assuming it had to do with wherever she'd gone earlier that day. When she was ready to tell him, she would. At least that was what he kept telling himself as he drifted to sleep with his mate safe in his arms.

Safe from physical harm at least. 

It didn't mean that she was safe from her own thoughts... from her own demons. Everything that was hurting her at the moment was all inside of her. The splinters, the nightmares, the memories. They were all things that were inside of her. All things that Azriel couldn't save her from. 

As the night grew longer and Amara still found herself unable to sleep, she sighed and slipped out from under Azriel's wings and arms. Slipping on a silk robe, she made her way out to the balcony and sighed when she saw Cassian sat out there. She did love talking with Cassian but late night conversations between the two always ended in tears after they both basically bared their souls to each other. 

"Can't sleep?" Amara asked softly as she sat down beside him, running a bleeding hand through her long blonde hair. 

"Not really," Cassian admitted as he looked over at her. He frowned when he saw the blood. "You're bleeding." 

"I know. They all do it at different times. It depends on how the splinter inside of the scar is trying to work its way out. If I ignore it then I can pretend it isn't happening." 

"If you ignore it then you're getting blood in your hair and Az is going to flip," he pointed out. 

"Az is going to flip no matter what." 

Cassian nodded and smiled slightly. He laid down on the bench the two were sat on, his head in Amara's lap. She started to absentmindedly braid his hair as she watched the lights flicker from the balcony. It wasn't much but they both knew that silence was enough for now. They both just needed silence but they didn't want to be alone. 

That's why the balcony was the perfect spot. 

You could see the whole of Velaris from that spot. The whole town as it went about their evening routine and got ready to go back to an easy sleep. It made you feel like you were surrounded by people, even if in reality you were completely alone. In this case though, Cassian and Amara had each other. They sat with Cassian's head in Amara's lap and made up stories about each of the different houses they could see. Even if they knew the people that lived in them, they would still make up a random story. 

Then they got to the bakery. 

"What do you think Dolores is doing right now?" Cassian asked her softly. They never made it up when it came to her. 

"Well it's budgeting night so I think she's sat on the couch in her apartment or laying on the floor, a pen in one hand, papers beside her and a glass of wine in her other hand. She's telling herself that she's just going to drink that one glass but then she'll get more and more stressed and drink the whole bottle before she'll cross the street and beg Brigette to wake up and help her. Then Brigette will do the budgeting and the finances, all the while telling Dolores that she should just let her do it from the beginning," Amara told him honestly, a slight smile on her face as she thought about it. "No more wine will come out after that. It'll be tea and water and coffee but things will get done and they'll fall asleep together on Dolores' bed." 

"Do you wish you were there with them?" 

"Oh Cauldron, no. That is the most stressful night of the month. It's easier if I'm not there." Amara leaned back a bit more and kept her eyes trained on the bakery and the flickering lights above it. "Besides, if I was there then no one would be able to keep you in line when we go to the human side of the wall tomorrow." 

"Fair point. Though I'm sure Az could manage." 

"Az will be busy checking on me if I'm not there." Amara ran a hand through her hair and looked down at her hand. "It's stopped bleeding..." 

"Is that a good thing?" Cassian asked as he sat up. 

"Well the splinter hasn't come out which means I'll have to go through it again at some point. But it's closer. I can feel it," she told him honestly with a slight smile. "But you should head to bed. It's late and you have to fly tomorrow. I, however, can drift to sleep in someone's arms during the journey." 

Cassian rolled his eyes and went back to his previous position, his head in her lap while she braided his hair. "Fine but I'm falling asleep here. I'm not leaving you alone when you're like this." 

"Az will kill you if he comes out and finds us both asleep out here."

"Then you better not fall asleep." 

~~~~~~

Fun Fact: Amara also plays multiple other instruments, she just favours the piano.