A Court Of Flowers And Shadows {Azriel Shadowsinger}

Chapter Fifty Two

Amara had an even bigger decision to make alongside having made the decision to leave. 

That decision was whether to tell Azriel in person or whether she should just leave. 

It took the long hours of packing behind his back and hoping he wouldn't walk in for her to decide. She decided to only take essentials, knowing that she would have a lot of her stuff still at the Spring Court to keep her going until she could come back to collect the rest. She grabbed anything with sentimental value: photos of her mum, letters and any notes that she and Az had sent back and forth, a necklace from her sister. She was taking Dolores with her so she didn't need to worry about making sure she grabbed anything to as a reminder of her dear friend.

A soft sigh left Amara's lips as she glanced at the desk in her bedroom. Silently, she made her way over and sat down, picking up a pencil and piece of paper. She'd leave a note. It was the least she could do considering she was essentially leaving him behind. 

Az,

I know this isn't what you expected to come back to find but I would never be able to say what I needed to and still leave if I did this in person. I know it's a weak excuse but it's all I can offer at this moment. 

Tamlin is spirally. Even from all the way over here I can feel it. Maybe it's my connection to the court or maybe it's my connection to him as his sister and one of his subjects. I don't know what it is but I can feel it and it's making me feel uneasy. Once you told me about the note Feyre sent him saying she was fine, it's felt worse. If I'd been told about it then I could have told you before it was sent that it was only going to make him more worried. I can't let Lucien deal with the fall back from this on his own. It isn't fair to him. 

So I'm going back to the Spring Court. 

I wish I could still find it in me to call it home, even if that was just in writing, but it isn't my home anymore. Neither is the Night Court. 

I'm sorry that I didn't do this in person but I knew that as soon as you asked me to stay, I would. 

I'm taking Dolores with me. She's always wanted to open another bakery in a different court and I think this could be a good opportunity for her to make that dream a reality. I completely understand if you no longer wish to hear from me but whenever you're ready, I'll respond straight away. 

You're my home and I'm sad to be leaving you behind. 

We both know you can't follow me to where I'm going. 

I love you.

Amara. 

~~~~

Getting Tamlin to agree to letting Dolores open a bakery had been a breeze. All she'd had to say was that she would leave straight away and never come back for him to agree and to give Amara the keys to multiple options for her to open it up in. 

Lucien had watched Dolores cautiously as if he was unsure what to make of the girl. He'd never heard Amara mention her but then again that didn't mean much. Amara didn't mention a lot of things to Lucien recently which was something he was planning on working on. The thing he was most unsure of was Amara's sudden urge to come back and deal with Tamlin's temper. Before it had been Feyre keeping her here but she didn't have that reason anymore. As much as he loved having Amara living back in the manor again, he knew he would have to keep more of an eye on her than he had before. 

Tamlin was hesitant about Amara coming home. That was until he had heard her make her request for her friend to open a bakery. If her friend was setting down roots here then maybe she would be more inclined to stay. He happily handed Amara the keys and watched her skip out the room to her friend, a smile on her face. He hoped she'd be happy living here again. She was the only family he had left. 

Amara was glad she'd been able to get Dolores what she'd wanted. They headed straight in to town and she helped Dolores come up with pro and con lists for each of the spaces but that didn't matter. As soon as Dolores saw the third one, her eyes had lit up and Amara knew that was the one. They sat down together in the middle of the floor and wrote down ideas for the new place. A plan. A life. 

She was just sad that this was going to be a part of her life that she didn't share with her mate.