a magic happily ever after

Jackson and april

It was a nice calm day and it was also Harriet's birthday (which on her actual birthday would probably be described as anything but calm). Matthew and Ruby Taylor, Harriet's step-father and step-sister, as well as her Mom, her Dad, and her cool, but nutty, grandmother joined her on this celebration in the park near the hospital. Her whole life has always been right around that hospital, but her whole family works in the medical field, so what can you do. All the parents were talking about work and what not while Ruby and Harriet played soccer in the field.

Harriet was just happy that after all these years her parents got along with each other and with her grandma and with Matthew. She had never been told about what happened or really much about her parents love story other than "we loved each other so much it hurt, and we had to stop loving each other so we could live and so we could love you, Harriet". She doesn't remember much about when they weren't getting along but she had been told by her grandma that they had a lot of issues (little did she know her grandma was the one who cause some of those issues), and she was just happy her parents didn't fight like a lot of other divorced parents. She had also known about her older brother Samuel, she didn't know much other than the fact that he died right after he was born and that when her parents talk about him, they get sad. She wasn't old enough yet to understand that a loss like that could do so much damage to a person, and that it was the kind of damage that tore her parents apart.

Meanwhile at the adult table they were all talking about the day Harriet was born. "It was a crazy day!" April said as she explained the day to her husband, Matthew, yet again. For some reason he could never remember this story so every year April had to tell it again. She had to explain that she forgot the rings for Amelia and Owens wedding, went into labor at Meredith's house, and had to have an intern give her a C-section in the living room. Jackson sat there remembering that day and how he sat on a phone call listening to her scream in pain, but he doesn't say that out loud because he doesn't want to ruin the moment.

It wasn't clear to anyone but Jackson that he had fallen back in love with April. He knew now though, that he couldn't profess his love for her because she was happily married and it was meant to be, plus he was great friends with Matthew now, and he couldn't break that friendship with him, not to mention Harriet and Ruby, especially. April had practically become her mother since her mom had passed. It might break Ruby more than anything if he even breathed a word of his thoughts. If she lost April too, nothing would be the same, and when she grows up, that "enemy" that person she hates so much, will be Jackson. Jackson didn't want to be the person that destroyed a kid's life. Jackson hated his father for leaving, and maybe Ruby would hate him too.

April continued to talk, saying "Matthew and I actually have an announcement, we wanted our parents to be here when we told everyone, but you know, it's that time of year on the farm and its hard to get away, so we will have to give them all a call later". Matthew grabs Aprils hands and says "we're having a baby!" April smiled and said yay! Catherine stood up and started clapping even though she knew it wasn't even her grandchild "that's so exciting! I will buy all the baby clothes in the world!". Jackson smiled and gave a simple congratulations, then stood up to hug them. Deep inside though, something shattered, he felt sad, like he just didn't want it. He knew he had no reason to be sad, he just didn't know why he couldn't get over what he decided to call a petty little crush.

He called it this because he didn't want to give this emotion a feeling and cause issues, because when the heart wants something it will speak sooner or later. It was stupid of him to have these feelings, in his mind, but they were there whether or not he wanted to believe them. This "petty little crush" was not about to keep him from being happy for April. It wasn't middle school and he had his chance to be with her, and he lost it.

Once and a while Jackson wonders what would've happened to them if he had just had a little faith in God like April did. Now he does, now he believes in God, now he is falling for her again, but he constantly has to remind himself that his time is passed. He even beats himself up for it sometimes, like it was his fault they broke up? He wonders if him not believing was his fault, if them not getting over Samuels death was his fault, because what if he had done that right, differently, maybe then he would still have her?