[Discontinued] The Things Left

5. Stop Interrupting

» Word count: 1,622 «

Fundy played with his food, picking at it. They had all gathered in the camp's center, with a campfire in the middle, as they shared supper that calm night. He could see the pain in everyone's face as the story was being told, a pain he shared yet didn't know about. Two years, his head still couldn't wrap around it. He sighed, putting his plate down. There was no appetite, no one had it. He laid his head on Eret’s lap after Tubbo did the same on Niki's lap. He just listened to the story going around, trying his hardest to not cry again.

Lately, Tubbo began losing interest in his self-care. It was hard to get him out of bed, and to get him to eat something. Tommy was worried, his best friend just wasn't himself. No one was. And it was hard to stay motivated with everyone so depressed.

What shocked him the most was in the fourth month of Fundy's disappearance. He went to wake Tubbo up, like he was doing for the last couple of weeks. If no one went, Tubbo would just stay in his room with no strength to go look for him anymore. Most people were losing hope too. The searches were less and shorter. It just pained them to walk the same paths and still return with nothing. He shook the creeping thought, not wanting to believe just yet.

He knocked on the door. No answer. He knocked again, saying who it was. Still no answer. A frown made his way, and he just barged inside. It wasn't the first time, but lately it felt intrusive. Tubbo was just sitting in bed, back against the wall, his gaze lost on the sheets. All of his words disappeared, another feeling settling in its place; sadness.

"Hey Tubbo…" he called softly. He was awkward now, standing in front of the door. Tubbo didn't even look up, didn't even acknowledge his presence. He looked back, reassuring himself that everyone else had left already before closing the door. It was just them in Pogtopia, even when they took temporary stay in the DSMP; far from where L'manburg once stood.

"Tommy?"

His eyes widened, surprised to finally be acknowledged. His body moved on its own, sitting on the bed with him. The light was sipping through the window, the blinds looked dusty like they hadn't been moved in some time now. A question for later, if he remembered.

"I think it's my fault Fundy is gone."

"What?"

Tubbo looked up, his face oddly dried yet drained from everything that made him him. The brightness of his cheeks and sparkle in his eyes were gone, replaced with dullness and shades of nothing. His hair was a mess, longer now that he hadn't bothered to care for it. He saw Tommy, wondering how colors could hurt his eyes like that. The thought had been running in his head for quite a while now.

"Maybe I shouldn't have left Schlatt. I should have stuck a little longer with him." He began letting his thoughts out, dictating word by word the declaration and conclusion his mind came up with. And deep inside, it all made sense. Anything made sense when grief was settling in. "Don't you think so, Tommy? I think so. I've been thinking about it. Yeah, maybe I should have stayed a little longer. Then maybe none of this would have happened, Fundy wouldn't be gone."

"That's- I don't… Tubbo I don't think…"

Tommy made a face, again and again, bathing in confusion. Seeing him believe his words was uncomfortable. Grief does a lot of things to people's heads, he didn't know to what extent. He opened his mouth, closing it when the first tears came.

"I shouldn't have left him… It's all my fault…" He cried, looking down again. Gravity pulling his years to his hands, tightly gripping his sheets. His vision was blurry with tears. "It's all my fault… I shouldn't have left him… It's all my fault…"