I finally get a chance to go somewhere. Somewhere out of state, to clear my head and explore a little. I finally get an opportunity to leave this shitty town, even if it's only for a few days.
And instead of being happy, I'm tearing myself up simply because you can't go. You didn't have enough time to get off for work, and I was sad about that, but I'm not gonna hear the end of this.
You think we're leaving you out and ditching you, that this was all on purpose. That the plan was to leave without you. If I had known before, I would've told you. I wanted you to go, but I found out two days before we leave. How do you expect me to just, turn that into extra time?
You've been upset and angry since. I know you have no respect for my dad, and I know this just made you respect him less, but you're making it so hard to leave.
I want to go see my best friend. I want to visit him. I haven't seen him in months, and I wanted to surprise him. I want to give him that courage he gave me, and tell him how proud I am of him.
But you've been making this so fucking hard. All you're thinking about is how far I'm gonna be away and how you can't go, you say you're afraid I'm going to get hurt. You say you're afraid I'm going to find someone better or cheat on you and not say anything. You say you don't trust other people around me.
I'm so tired of being treated like "the exes". I'm tired of having insecurities and pasts pushed onto me. This entire relationship I made one mistake, and while two wrongs don't make a right, I felt good about myself for the first time in years. That person made me feel beautiful and wanted, and you made me feel like I wasn't enough for you. You said you forgave me, and we agreed not to bring up anything of what we had done previously in our relationship, yet you still bring up what I did. I could bring up all the texts I found, how many girls you were texting "heyy beautiful!!" or said how gorgeous they were. The dick pics you sent. The ex you fucked ON MY BIRTHDAY.
But I don't, because we agreed. We agreed we'd drop it all, and you're still holding onto that. I know I made a mistake, but you made several. Next time, I will bring up what you did, too.
