Within These Shadows || Park Chanyeol/Do Kyungsoo || Book 1

18

By the time Jay had returned to the dorms, it was 1:30 am, and Mae was fast asleep. Jay quietly took her towel and clothes, and went to take her shower; she tried to make as less sound as possible. But after taking her shower, she didn't sleep on her bed that night; she slept beside Mae on her bed. She quietly got under Mae's blanket and wrapped her arm around Mae's torso, leaning her head lightly at the back of Mae's neck. She prayed and hoped that after everything that happened that day, she would be able to get a good night's sleep.

*

Mae woke up in the middle of the night when she felt someone's warm breathe on the back of her neck. She placed her hand on the person's left hand that was snaked around her waist, feeling the metallic band on the middle finger. She smiled in relief; Jay was back. She picked up her phone from beside her pillow, where it had dropped from her hand while falling asleep. The screen read 03:00 am. She wondered when Jay had come back.

After Mae, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo had left the restaurant in the afternoon, they went straight back to the university campus. Despite Chanyeol and Kyungsoo telling Mae over and over that they should look for Jay, she remained quiet. Only when they had reached the girls dormitory, she told them that it was useless. Jay had gone somewhere Mae didn't know and she'd be back by the night. She didn't go into elaborate explanations as to why she was so calm and sure about the whole matter. But the seriousness in Mae's tone gave the boys a clear message that they should put an end to that discussion. Apologizing to the pair about the day's incident, Mae went inside the dorm.

2:00pm. Back in her room, Mae sat on the floor, against the foot of her bed. Just like the past nine years, she raked through her memories, thinking of possible places that Jay could've gone to. She came up with nothing: how would she? Despite knowing Jay since birth, for all 21 years of her life, she still didn't know her enough. Yeah, she knew Jay's favorite food, favorite music, what she liked to do on weekends, what she was allergic to, her past tragedies, what she hated, her emotions and expressions, her choice of attire; everything that could be seen from the outside. But who Jay was on the inside, what the darkest corners of her mind held, what her deepest regrets, pains, and wishes were, or what made her truly happy, were unknown to Mae. Who Jayline Woods was as a human being, she didn't know.

6:00 pm. She sat there, and waited...waited...and waited. The hours ticked away, the sun moved to the west, went down the horizon while the moon surfaced, Jay was still a no show. The room was drenched in darkness; the moonlight being the only source of light, creeped through the window panes, walked all over the floor and grazed Mae's face. She checked her phone over and over to see if Jay had left any texts or calls. Not like she would, and Mae's phone was with her all the time. Yet, she couldn't help but hold onto that little bit of hope.

10:00 pm. Mae ate the cold jjamppong that Choi Hye Rin had packed. She found it hard to swallow the food, her chest hurt, her stomach twisted and turned. But Jeon Min Ah's mother made the double effort to make sure they didn't leave the restaurant without any food; that even for free. She couldn't possibly throw it away.

12:00 am. She lay on her bed, eyes glued to her phone screen; anticipating any calls or texts from Jay. She, herself, tried calling Jay over and over, only to hear the operator voice tell her that her number couldn't be reached. The only texts she received were from Chanyeol, asking if she was okay, had dinner and if Jay was back. Everytime the notification for his text came in, a big part of her hoped that it was Jay; even though she knew it wouldn't be. And in the midst of all the texts from Chanyeol and waiting for any incoming calls, Mae's tired body eventually gave in. Her phone slipped from her hand and fell face first on the bed, and she dozed off to a deep slumber.

~~~

Lying on the bed there with Jay behind her, Mae felt as though something heavy had been lifted off of her chest. And she could breathe in again, without feeling the weight of it. A single tear drop escaped from the corner of her eye, trickled down her face and fell on her pillow, getting absorbed by the fabric and dispersing immediately. That's how she felt at the moment; all her worries dispersing away somewhere other than her own self or her bubble of relief.