Dex Warrior (Libertas Online)

19: Dex Warrior

I can't help but feel overwhelming guilt as I begin to re-create my character. The others asked me to be the deciding factor on how we handled the River Raiders in Bandit's Pinch, and I let them down. I made the wrong call, thinking that we could take a few of them out and run through the thorpe without a casualty. If I could take it back, I would have stayed clear of Bandit's Pinch and taken the long way around the mountains. The moment we saw Alloy, I should've told everyone to run. I should've known it was too much of a coincidence for him to be there.

I don't bother trying to send Rubble and Rin private messages. I simply sit through the opening screen, listening to the female voice tell me about pain receptors and a bunch of other stuff that I don't care about right now. The moment that table appears in front of me I pick up that short sword and confirm my choice as a warrior.

I try to rush through the opening cinematic with sheer willpower, but nothing I can do will speed it up. So, I wait and I watch the rat folk attack my caravan, capture me, and finally throw me into that god-awful cell. When my body is back under my control and I'm standing in the flickering torchlight, I'm quick to pick up the bone pick from the pile of debris, but then I hold off and wait for the others to arrive. It takes less than a minute until Rin and Rubble both materialize from the feet up next to me.

It isn't until after they spend their extra attribute points before they really notice me. Rubble looks at me with a concerned expression. "Why the long face, Aiden?"

A groan escapes me. "Do you have to ask? I got you guys killed! I should have been the voice of reason and went with you, Rubble. We shouldn't have went in there. I am so sorry I got us killed. Once Alloy came out of the tavern, I should have known we needed to run, but I just wanted him dead so badly that I just had to try take him out. I couldn't do enough damage to get to him and survive, so in a split second decision I decided I'd try to converge with that sword and failed."

Rin shrugs, and for a second I think she's pissed at me, too. "Yeah, I saw that. Shoulda known better than to try to converge with an A rank Artifact with 22 Sway, greeny." She parts her hair behind her ears, and the glimmer returns to her eyes. "Don't sweat it, though. These things happen."

"Are you sure?" I ask. I turn to Rubble. "Both of you?"

They nod. While it feels good that the others aren't too disappointed we died, I still feel disappointed in myself. My worst fear is that this one mistake will cost the Shield more than it can afford. I'm down to just a week left, half the time I started with, and I'm back at level one.

Rubble claps me on the shoulder, pulling me out of my funk, and says, "If I had a dollar for every time I've died in Libertas, I'd still be peasant-broke because dollars aren't worth anything anymore... But! I'd have a lot of them."

Rin rolls her eyes at the giant. "What he's trying to say is that you're forgetting we are all in stasis, so we have no timer, and as long as nothing changes in the real world, we can stay here as long as we want. Most of us, Rubble and I included, have been playing this game for almost three years already." She puts a hand on my shoulder and looks me in the eye. "It's not always about the end goal of reaching max level, or feeling guilty of wasting time when you lose it all, it's about the journey and the people you meet along the way."

Rubble grabs me by the shoulder and turns me to face him, making me feel like a rag doll. He says, "See, greeny? That's what matters. And we may not have the same ambitions as you do, here in Libertas, but we're more than happy to help you get to where you want to be as long as we have fun on the way. So, don't beat yourself up about it. Just try again."

I stare at my feet for a moment, then nod. I know they're right. These friends of mine are counting on me to help them put together an alliance that will knock the socks off of the River Raiders and break their stranglehold on Anticore. The Shield is counting on me, even if they don't believe me. Maybe even all that's left of humanity is depending on me. It's hard to to look at myself and recognize the mistakes I've made, and then get over them and push on. But that's exactly what I'm going to do. I can't let this hold me back. I'm going to work twice as hard as before to pull this off and save everyone, because this isn't over until I say it is.