𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 ─ nct dream

o7

❛❛ 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 ❜❜

it was afternoon as jeno put me to bed. he told me to sleep, yet i wasn't able to.

it's not like there were monsters under my bed, and i couldn't sleep like when i was young, no, this time these monsters were inside me.

after jeno left me the numbness came back. i stopped feeling, still having renjun's hurt eyes in my mind. he looked betrayed, but how did i betray him? what did i do?

i didn't even confess to him, he just eavesdropped. it wasn't my fault, right? both falling in love with him and him hearing my confession indirectly. i suddenly missed him. but that feeling didn't last long.

he simply doesn't want me, right? the problem was... me.

before i had the chance to deepen that thought, the door opened and jeno softly sat down on my bed.

"hey."

"hey."

"how are you?"

"good."

"i brought chocolate, you want some?"

"no, thanks."

jeno let out a sigh. "okay suji-ya. you know i love you. but please stand up." he pulled me up and held my waist in case my legs couldn't hold me. a tear escaped my eye.

"nonono don't cry don't cry" he said and whiped my tear away with his thumb. "suji, you need to get changed, okay? you need to take off your uniform."

i made some weird noises in hope he would let me sleep in that shit.

"no buts, either you do it yourself or i have to take off your clothes."

(EYE- 😳)

"how about you wear the blue hoodie? i'm wearing mine too" he grinned. i looked down at him, and yes he was wearing the hoddie i gave him this morning.

i forced myself to smile and mumbled an okay. "turn around" i told him when i looked for the hoodie in my room. he did so and i changed into the blue thing. it was so FLUFFY and WARM and SOFT.

"finished" i said and smiled. jeno smiled too and stepped towards me. "what should we do now? you can choose."

he sat down on the bed and patted on his right signaling me to sit down too. "hmm... i don't know."

"how about watching a movie?" i thought about it and nodded. "okay what movie?"

"nemo, chicken little or wall-e!"

"suji, we always watch them"

"monsters inc!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"pLEASE !!"

"okay okay let's watch wall-e."

"yAy"

"i'll bring popcorn and the beamer, can you get snacks and drinks?"
jeno asked already leaving the room.

somehow i felt bad again. my legs got all wobby and couldn't hold me anymore. they snapped away and i collapsed on the floor. unwillingly i started clenching my fists and gritted my teeth.

jeno came back seeing me on the floor. "suji" his eyes softened and he picked me up. he put me on the bed and covered me with the blanket. "i'll be right back okay?" i nodded.

it didn't take him long, which i was grateful for. he entered my room with a bowl full of popcorn and the remote control for the mini beamer.

"alright" jeno started setting up everything and i watched him while doing so.

who was i to deserve someone like him? jeno really is that type of person your mother would try to match you with (i mean she tried bahahahah).

he went back to our kitchen one last time to get something to get some drinks for us. would jeno ever leave me? is there a reason for him to leave? will i hurt him like i did to renjun?

i pulled the blanket over my head trying to hide from the thoughts. there was so much happening today.

jeno came back again finally, and started the movie. i moved on the bed to make some space for him, cuz that boi got that phat ass. we moved until we were both comfortable, my head resting on his chest and one of his arms around my waist.

i couldn't focus on the cute robot tho. i mean don't get me wrong, i love wall-e, but i just couldn't get my focus on there. all i could think about was... renjun.

why did he look so hurt? why did i have to fall in love with him? what did i do wrong??

i was deep in my thoughts i didn't even notice the movie already ended.

"suji, the movie ended like, 20 minutes ago" jeno recalled me.

"jsjdkwnw" i made and just snuggled deeper into his tight hug.

"awh come here" he said and we moved again. apparently he was too big for my bed, he grew outta this in, 8th grade? but it got comfortable again after some shifting.

"you know, you can cry."

jeno did not have to say that, the tears were already forming in the corner of my eyes.

"i'm s-sorry" i sobbed and soaked his hoodie with my tears and ewh sniff. he stroked my hear and oatted my head.

after a time he began massaging my head, which is one of my soft spots (? don't get the wrong idea idk how to say that) he exactly knew what he was doing, trying to relax me.

"i'm there" he whispered from time to time, and eventually it got better.

i stopped sobbing after a few minutes. i still was a mess tho.

"i'm always there for you. just know you'll never be lonely."