Not Giving up (Janoskians Story)

Chapter 18 - Pro

When I came home I kissed Luke good bye and agreed to meet him later. After he left I checked surroundings just in case I might spot a stalking freak. When I didn't, I turned around and saw my mom watching us through the window. Then she disappeared and soon appeared on the porch. »We leave now. Let's get it over with it." My heart was beating fast. What if we are moving? I tried to think of what her mood was lately and all I could remember was seeing her happy. Things were good with Dustin so that couldn't be the reason. While driving in an abandon road I had all those scary memories when my mom told me we're moving to Australia playing in my mind. My throat was tight and my mouth dry. When she pulled over I focused on the nature. We were on a hill; there was a bench and a table. I walked over there and gasped as the view of Melbourne came in sight. The city was amazing and huge. You could see the skyscrapers and my school. As the wind played with my hair, me and my mom stared at the city. I smiled knowing that that was my home now. "C’mon, let’s sit." Said my mom and I sat down next to her." So mom what's up?" She was quiet for a while. When she opened her mouth I kind of freaked out. "Please don't tell me that we're moving. Please we can't move. I love it here. Don't make me go through all of this again. I'll even stay here and find a job and pay rant. Please mom!" I begged her desperately. My mom just laughed. "I honestly can't imagine you working but that was not what I want to talk about with you. But, wow you really love it here don't you?" She asked proudly which only confused me. So were not moving? I asked myself. Then what is this all about? "Well yeah, I love it. Of course I miss Ela, dad, Ninna and others but I have a good friend here. And uh, someone that cares about me." I blushed and realized I was talking about Luke and not Beau. I smiled at myself. My mom took my hand. "Luke right?" She asked and I nodded while staring at a plane above us leaving this beautiful city. "When I was young I had this crush on a very popular boy from my school." She started and I rolled my eyes at the beginning of her words. She is 40 and that's still young. She waited a bit for my nod. "He was amazing. He played a guitar, listened to the same music as me and he even liked talking to girls and not just um how do you kids say it.. Make out?" I shook my head in shock. Were we having the sex talk right now? Holy shit. "Huh mom. There's really no need to tell me how you did it the first time." I blushed but that didn't stop her. "After a while he showed interests in me too so we started hanging out. We became a couple and I clearly told him that I will wait till I am ready." I was staring in my legs now trying not to run away. This was so awkward. "He was OK with that idea but then one day he decided to not wait anymore. He said "We do it now or we break up."." I stopped breathing when she mentioned sex. Why was she talking to me about this? Just get it over with soon mom, I thought. "And I did it." As she said that I shot my head up and looked at her. She smiled. "What? Why did you do it?" I was shocked to know that a strong woman like my mom allowed that to happen. "I thought I loved him. I made a mistake because I truly wasn't ready. This is why i need to talk to you. I don't want you to make the same mistake as I did. Don't let any boy decide on anything." I remembered my first time with Beau and smiled because I knew it was me who pushed over the line. Yes Beau wanted but he would hold back. I did want him. I giggled at how much power a girl can have over a boy.  My mom opened her mouth and cursed. I looked at her and my smile disappeared. "You had sex already didn't you? Oh my God. I missed the right moment. No, no you idiotic mother. This is unbelievable. Yeah you're 18 but I, I..." She was freaking out. I grabbed her hand. “Mom it's OK." Then I started laughing so hard and even my mom joined me after a while. When we finally calmed down she sighed. “Was it your decision?" And I nodded in respond. "Well this was awkward." She finished. And I laughed some more. We sat and talked there for a while until it became dark. She stood up and waited for me to start walking towards the car. "Do you love him? I mean do you see your future with him?" As i was thinking about her question I got confused. Which "him" was I suppose to see in my future. “Yes, yes i see a future with him." As i said that I could hear bitterness in my voice. What I said was true but I saw them both in my future and not just as friends. I started thinking about rolling down the hill and die. But my mom distracted me with a horn. I breathed in and sat into the car. I need to do something about my messed up love life.. And that's before Teddy gets in my way.