Loving the Here and Now

Chapter 6

I walked through the dark forest with no clear path in mind. I just needed to get away from... someone. I can't remember, but i knew it was someone bad.

As I walked, I felt free, even in this pressuring darkness. This feeling was something I haven't felt in a while. I was finally able to breathe--able to fly.

I continued walking as the glowing white moon reflected on to me. I walked and walked until I felt I was at the spot. The spot. It was an open meadow with a river flowing near the east end of it. It was right next to the mountains, and it would make a beautiful view if the sun was out, though it's almost ethereal now. There were small, glowing fireflies flying around the weeds. The air both felt and smelt fresh as it blew onto me.

Here, I could tell, was a magical place. A place only certain beings could gain entry to. I felt lucky to be here, and I guess I was.

I walked towards the flowing river. I let the sounds wash over me as I relaxed fully. I sat at a rack at the edge of the river and looked around me. It was nice finally being able to get away from people. Especially the people I call family.

As I sat there, I let my thoughts run.

Why do I do this to myself?

What's the point? They don't care, and frankly, I'm starting to not care...

They don't even want me

No one wants me

And with these thoughts, i suddenly realized... I don't need them.

All they do is insult me everyday--every minute. They don't want me. They don't even like me. They don't need me, and I don't need them.

That's it, It thought. I'm leaving. All they've ever done to me is insult me and hurt me and--I should do something. They need to hurt. Hrt like they did to me. I'll--

A hand on my shoulder took me out of my thoughts. I swiftly turned my head around and stood. Behind me was... a man. Well, demon. It was Bill.

"Heya Pinetree!" He grinned at me.

"Hey... Bill" I said as I looked warily at him.

He looked around and laughed. "You were so busy in your thoughts, it started showing!"

I also looked around. The once beautiful meadow was now completely different. Where the edge of the trees once were was a gigantic wall of thorn bushes. the flying glowing balls of fireflies were gone, leaving no light other than the moon, which also turned red, bathing the meadow in blood red. The once shimmering river also changed into a deep, oozy black, almost like oil. Just past the trees, I could make out an owl. Its pitch black eyes were almost non-existent compared to its similarly coloured body.

As I calmed down, the darkness started receding back into the inky blackness past the edge of the forest.

I turned back to Bill to see him staring at me with a glint in his eye. I couldn't tell what it was at the moment, but it was gone as fast as it came.

"So..." He trailed off.

"So..." I repeated.

He misled at me, though it wasn't his usual cheeky grin. "How are you?"

This threw me back a step. Why, in any universe, would Bill Cipher ask someone if they were ok and why would he even care?

He sighed as I gave him a dumbstruck look. "I'm not always a heartless monster, Pinetree."

I stared at him blankly."Yeah, well, you sure do sometimes act like it. Especially that one time a few years back. Y'know...when you were trying to take over the world?"

He sighed again. I sat back down at the rock and Bill followed me onto the rock next to mine.

"That was then, this is now. You defeated me anyways, it doesn't matter much now. You're all virtually safe from me."

I didn't say anything back and looked at the river.

It was quiet for a few more minutes after that, both of us just basking in the moonlight. And then the spell broke.

"I'm... fine. I guess."

"Really?" He asked as he looked at me, his uncovered eyebrow rasing. "After that scene back there?"

I shrugged. "You get used to it, even if it does hurt."

He looked at me for a long while. I couldn't tell what was going through his mind, his face clear of all emotion, though his eyes did have that similar glint from before.

"How about, Pinetree, let's change that deal."

I gave him a confused look. "What? Why?"

He smirked at me, this time his usual one. "I just wanna!"

I thought about it. "Hm... What's the deal?"

"Well... how about instead of giving me a body... you find something that makes you happy. And I'll help!"

Something that makes me happy? Aren't I already happy? Even then, why does he care? My happiness shouldn't matter to him. I heard a distant voice in the back of my head that almost sounded like Bill. "No one cares..." But I immediately forgot about it as Bill started talking.

"Well, Pinetree, it looks like I'll have to leave you with your thoughts again. You're waking up. Just... make sure to think over the deal. And, try to remember the last time you were happy. When you were actually happy, okay? Have a nice day." He smiled at me.

The space around me started getting hazier and hazier as I awoke. And when I did, it was on my bed in the Mystery Shack. I realized that Bill must have brought me back. How nice...

I thought back to the new deal he made. He wan;t me to be happy... and he'll help? Is that his side then? But... I'm happy aren't I?

My conscious mind was telling me yes, but i could faintly hear another voice in the back of my mind saying...no. Why am I contradicting myself? Am I really not happy? I am happy! Like that one time when me and Mabel... went to the fair together... and we had such a nice time together! We rode the rides, ate a funnel cake together, then... wasn't that also the day when I went to the hospital? I remember, Mabel had pushed me. Off the chair because she said i had more cake then she did, and i broke my arm.

Am I really... happy? 

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Ok... so.... I'm pretty happy with this chapter! I mean, it could have been better, obviously, but I think I did pretty well! I wanted some parts of it to be better, especially the part with Bill, but I couldn't come up with anything so I was kinda just bullshitting it... But it could be worse! And guess what! I actually updated when I said I would and I wrote almost 2000 words! Yay!

Speaking of updates... they are very sporadic, and I'm pretty sure I haven't actually updated this in... almost a year? A year? I'm trying my best, but this school year is actually going to be really difficult for me... I'm hoping to actually post stuff, but the next chapter probably won't be next week. But stay tuned! I'll update at some point, that's a guarantee!

Also, anyone recognize what my username is? Hyakkimaru? I really like this anime, and I think you should watch it too!

Also, what you tubers do you guys watch? I watch a lot but I like Markiplier, Jacksepticeye CaptainSparklez, NileRed, Kubz Scouts, FakeJake...etc. I'm interested!

Thank you for reading this crappy fan fiction! I appreciate all the comments, even the ones about updating! Thanks for taking the time out of your life to read and comment on this! 

Im_Hyakkimaru~~~<3<3