"What if I want to find a boy?" ✓

"Shower of love in Paris"

When I was running to the city center I thought only about Magnus' words.
"Just...come back", "Justcomeback", "Come back...", "Come back..."
It stuck in my head like a mom phone number in a child head. During this minds I saw Izzy, so I ran a little faster and I took my bow with arrows. I was ready but there were no demons around. Then- something hit me from behind, the only thing I heard was my sister screaming and my eyes closed.
...
I woke up in the Institute. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was his face. "Very nice"- I thought..."Maybe it's a romantic dream". But when I tried to get up I felt a shooting pain in the whole body.
"No,no,no Alexander. You need to rest"-this voice made me calmer.
"Alec!"- it was definitely Izzy.
"What...what happened?"- I wanted to know everything.
"Shhhh, you were attacked by the demon. Nothnig serious, but as Magnus told you-you need to rest. Maybe you should try to sleep?"-
since when she's such a good doctor?!
"Okay,okay Izzy. What is he doing here?"-I knew that it wasn't nice behavior.
"I came here for you, Alexander"- it was so sweet, Magnus was so sweet, and I wanted to kiss his lips...His very soft lips. "Maybe if I get up my head a little"-I started planning this and I closed my eyes for a second. Then I felt someone's lips on my forehead.
It was ulterry ROMANTIC.
"Wait. Magnus? So you ...so you like me?"- I was acting like a total idiot.
"Like is an understatment. You're still so young and silly, aren't you?"-he smiled- "I brought you a bottle of wine"
It was a classic Magnus Bane!
"Thank you" I whispered and I was actually mentally better, cause he was caring like nobody else there. But of course everything what's good needs to end, right?
The door opened loudly.
"Magnus. You need to get out"-it was Jace.
Anyway he didn't come alone. Guess who was next to him...
"The Head of the Institute doesn't want any Downworlders here"- Clary said.
"But he's helping me"- I tried to disscus.
"No, I'll leave. That's okay, I'm just not as pure as you Shadowhunters."-Magnus answered, but I heard sadness in his pretty voice.
I had nothnig to do so I fell asleep again. I woke up after 20 hours? And I tried to get up- I was able to do that. I draw myself an Iratze rune and I heard my sister
"You're okay. That's good because I have something for you"
"What is it?"- I was curious.
"Magnus left this card for you"- she gave a black sheet of paper.
"Izzy!"- I was excited- "It's an invitation. He wants to go out with me. A date! Do you understand?"
"When? Where?"-my lovely sis was kinda annoying...
"Oh, I don't know where. Wait... Tonight in his house, he wants it to be a secret. He wants to take me to 'the capital of love' "- I read her his message- "I gotta go, thanks Izzy"
"Wait, Alec! It's noon you have time"- she tried to stop me but I was on the way to my room-
"Sorry, I need to prepare myself"- I threw it in the air and she believed me-
"Okay, my handsome brother"

I sat down on the bed and I was looking at my wardrobe "What can I wear? What does he like? What gays like?" that was all that mattered. Because...
"What if I wear something and he'll not like it?" - I thought - "Is that how relationship works?"
So I spent 2 hours on thinking about what can I wear for a date with Magnus. And I was running out of time. Finally i decided to wear casual normal clothes.
When I was leaving the Institute Isabelle said to me:
"Just... don't be rude. And remember I love you"- she hugged me.
"Loveyoutoo"- I actually wanted to go so it was response without any feelings, but it didn't mean I don't love her.
She's the best sister ever!
When I came to Magnus' house he looked better than usually. Incredible. I was staring at him. He had pink paint on his messy hair... What's more - his smile.
My heart was like: hwbsbejknwndiendndked he looks amazing
"What's up, Alexander?"- he made a turn and blinked.
"Nothnig...First thanks for invitation- it was really nice to wake up and saw this Black card, second- Magnus...You look incredible." - I was really honest with him.
"So do you, pretty boy"- he said, I blushed.
He started making a portal.
"Wait, where are we going?"- I was affraid, kinda excited and happy.
"Gimme a hand"- he looked in my eyes deeply.
I took his hand. Touch. Little gesture. My heart stopped and I felt butterflies in my stomach.
We came into a portal... And when the portal disappered I saw PARIS. Uh, so romantic.
I don't know why but I thought about Clary and I was like "Ha, she has never been there with Jace!".
"And, how do you like it?"- he made his best.
"Magnus, I haven't even dreamt about such a date with anyone. The more with you"- it was true. Paris was a perfect place for every "couple".
He didn't answer. He just squezzed my hand and we started a walk. Quiet walk. Without any conversation. For me- it was ... w o n d e r f u l.
I liked it. Then Magnus stopped the silence:
"You know I didn't bring you here for no reason. It's a 'capitol of love' in my opinion. As you know warlocks are immortal and I've been in a lot of relationships. I've been with vampires, seelies, boys, girls. But I've never felt something so much in such a short time. What's more I haven't been with anybody for centuries, cause I thought that I'm no longer able to love. But when I saw you... You're special, Alexander.
You moved my heart."- my response was ready.
"Magnus. These are the prettiest words I've ever heard from somebody. I want you to know that you moved my heart too. Thanks to you I'm finally happy. Thanks to you I realised that Jace is not the only one on the Earth..."
"Jace? What do you mean? He's straight, he's dating Clary and you are his parabatai!"- he didn't like my words. Damn.- "You... you're not into me. It's just kind of distraction. You wanna forget about Jace, so you decided to lie yourself that you have feelings for me. Well, maybe you have. But you love him too. There's no chemistry between us. It's sad, because I'm in love with you- for real. But as long as you're still feel something to Jace, we cannot be a couple"- he broke my heart.
"It's not like that! Jace? It was in the past. I'm not mad at you just because you had diffrent lovers in the past. Please understand. Jace was my first love I can't disagree. But it was in the past. Now I'm only into you."- I knew that it was beggining of an argument.
"Alexander!!! How many times you want to lie to me? We both know that you want yourself to be ONLY into me, but that's not true. To be honest I wish you to be ONLY into me too. Anyway, you have feelings for Jace. So do something with that and stop telling me such a lies!"- he was like a fire. He was burning from anger. But so was I:
"No, no, no you don't understand me! It's all new for me, and maybe you're right but I can't just forget about my past..."
"STOP THAT"- he shouted at me - "You're the one who doesn't understand. I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU. But you... You are into me but also into Jace. And that's okay. However we can't be together if it's gonna look like that."
I didn't response. There were nothnig to talk about, because he was right. I felt powerless.
We were just walking by the river and Magnus noticed an alcohol bar. "Ha, here we got his real love"- I thought.
"Wanna grab a drink?"- he asked me dryly.
"Yeah, whatever"- I acted like a son of a bitch.
"Gin or vodka?"- classic Magnus' question
"I don't care"- I had no idea...
"No. You might be mad at me, you might hate me, you might love me, or want to kill me. But this? This is important. Very important.
Gin or vodka?"- he had madness in his pretty eyes. I'm sorry. Just in his eyes. Without 'pretty'.
So I said:
"Vodka."
"Great choice, we have similar tastes"- he almost smiled but I still remembered what he said about Jace. So i just took my drink without no "thank you".
My heart was breaking ...
Magnus didn't deserve such treatment.