The Bruising Ego

All worth the hassle?

"Hey you, I am sorry for not being there. And since, you didn't call all day, I know it didn't go well. But that's alright, we'll get this through, I have some savings that you can loan from me and return that money borrowed under your 'clandestine affair'. I have thought this through so don't argue with me, okay? Furthermore, we can always work together in getting you something which can help you in starting from scratch. I have had alliances with network of entrepreneurs over the years. It's time, we put that to use . . .mm . . ." she kept on pattering as I got closer and closer to her.
Yes, I kissed her to shut her up and she also got lost in that moment.
She wouldn't stop, I think I made her think about our future plans all day, that's how much she cared about me or I would rather say us, because when two people feel deep affection for one another, they are not an individual entity, they unite, they integrate as one.

I guess, we can use a similar analogy on God. When an individual has perceived his/her God-Consciousness i.e. realising his own nature of existence, all the veils that surround consciousness are obliterated. The thing or I should rather say no-thing is left, this is not a separate entity in itself but rather a raw rugged awareness that is now ready to unite with the universal consciousness. Once, the union is panned out. There is no 'I' in that form, but the culmination of all forms. Everything is a singularity.

This is how the state is when one has united with his/her significant other. There is no 'I' any longer. It always starts and ends with 'us'. Every instance of one's life leads to a decision, that undertakes each other's combined benefit, or I should rather say, every activity affects us rather than only one of us. As single entities are now just spectral.

"Wow, I think you wanted me to stop worrying, and somehow this kiss did the trick for us both, way the go" she said radiantly.

"I can get used to that radiant face. And yeah I wanted you to stop worrying because I have something for you" I leered.

I took out the painting from under the bed and she got spooked. Unlike my past relationships wherein such a stunt usually means a breakup for the rest of the day, she acknowledged my gesture, despite of what she went through throughout the day, she knew I had righteous intentions. So instead of reproaching, I was awarded with another kiss. And this one was much more passionate.

But she sure wanted to know my side of the story, I proudly presented it with particulars and dialects, as if doing a play. It was hysterical, fabled and heroic if you ask me. For some reason, she wasn't really impressed by all that, it baffled me.

"You know what happened here in case you didn't notice?" it appeared as if she were an arbiter.

"Well, isn't it impressive the way I nailed it?" I staggered.

"The thought is impressive but rather than thinking about execution, perhaps you should perceive what all transpired from another angle." again it felt as if she was scrutinizing.

"So rather than thinking what I did, you want me to think how it happened? Rather than the execution, I should understand the intent behind it?" I probed.

"Precisely, just think for a second, how your pursuit started and how it is ending? Who conned whom? Contemplate it!" She jolted.

I thought over it, she was right. I looked back to what I bumped into back then, I thought the auctioneer conned me because of the way that instance transpired. But the painting turned out to be the real deal, plus everything was legit. How can I call that a con?
However, what ensued based on events from yesterday was a con. I made DoubleD believe that I was legit and conned my way in getting that painting. Although, it was rightfully mine, it doesn't rule out the fact that I defrauded my way in attaining my want.

"I understand it now, unintentionally and with hubristic instincts, I became the one I despised the most. But what now? Do you want me to come clean? I think the only one who might be in a fuss would be me in the end." I said in a perturbed manner.

"I am not asking you to come clean here. You know why people are transgressors? They commit the crime without realising. And the realisation is grasped when empathy starts to play that role in their lives. The moment they do, the veils of being a hooligan are annihilated. So, the moment you realised the commited blunder, your debt was paid. However, that doesn't give us a free pass to play around. Know this that it is an exception because DoubleD is a wealthy woman, she is in love with Hunter, she believes that her husband is still with her and that painting holds great value in her heart." she declaimed.

"Your ploy would do her good, she will not only believe that her husband is at peace but this will also fill her void which was getting carvenously close to infinity day-after-day. Let her name the price for the painting and you will graciously accept her offer. I do not want you to force her to raise the bar, just because she is rich. Let's not take any advantage, we were already in a pitiable state. Whatever she has to offer, let's just accept that and be slightly less in our debt. Now that we are together, we will fight this through and lead our lives with honesty from here on" She bombastically concluded.

Could I love someone more than I already did. We kissed and this passion was so extreme that the experience of being with her had a new equal. This was such an eye-opener!

She isn't only my soulmate but my guiding angel. I was on the wrong path and yes that was inadvertent, but I would have ripped DD off if I hadn't realised it. Although, I was planning on putting use of my sources to know the price rather than giving her a ballpark number, but it was not a plausible thing to do. Shirley helped me in averting the most unjustifiable act I could have ever commited.

In the end, it is all about our ego, isn't it? Even when someone doesn't, just the thought itself can bruise it. It is such an easy task to discern that change. People outstretch to new heights in order to preserve this ego. When in verity, it is our perception that makes us feel that way. Ego is but a three-letter word. The moment you realise that, you break it!