He's doing great and I am also slowly getting fine.
Moving on to another life was never been easy and along with that, my pregnancy condition triggered my emotional and mental stability. I spent my first few weeks crying overnight but I eventually recovered after pushing myself to do so. Even if I haven't released all the grief and bitterness yet.
We can all feel sad all we want. We are valid to be brokenhearted but sometimes our circumstances wouldn't allow us to dwell on that sadness for as long as we want because we don't have any choice but to face our reality the day or week after.
When it was announced on national television that their group is debuting, that was when I realized that all this time, it was all worth it. When I watched their debut stage I was at the hospital to have my checkup, the other patients in the waiting area enjoyed their performance as I also do. I remember that it was the last time I cried because of him together with the news that the gender of my child is a girl.
And after that, my new life started. When I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, I named her Hyunjoo, Lim Hyunjoo, with the English name, Eris.
Nine months after Hyunjoo's birth, I visited mom's grave here in Busan with Hyunjoo.
The first time I visited her was when I first arrived here. Upon arriving in Busan, I asked Aunt Soo Yeon about my mother's remains and she said that it's buried here.
Visiting her became my way of consolation, whenever I feel sad and crying, I always come here and sit in front of her as I talk about what makes me feel sad that day and after venting it all out, crying it all out, I would somehow feel better because the piling heavy emotions are somehow gone.
Those deep conversations are just like what a mother and child do in the middle of a meal, after school, or before going to bed. Sadly, mom and I never experienced that.
I didn't grow up knowing her and I will always be sorry that half of my life I never did. But the fact that my mom fought for me the way I did for Hyunjoo makes me feel strong because my mom was stronger.
"Mom, I'm back and I'm with the cutest, Eris." I gently said and placed the flower beside her gravestone.
"It's her ninth month today and she already babbles a lot." I placed the mat and sat on it as I put Hyunjoo on my lap.
"I'm coming back to Seoul in few months. It will be hard for me to visit you but I will still try my best. On sad and happy days, in my highs and even my lows, I will always think of you." Hyunjoo looked at me and touched my cheeks. I smiled at her and played with her tiny fingers.
"Mom, this world of being a parent is so wonderful. Of course, it was stressful at first but it's so uplifting and therapeutic. It's such a shame that you didn't experience it with me but mom thank you, for trying, for fighting, and for being strong enough to leave everything for me. I guess that is just how motherly love works. Those are little things that we can do and overcome for our child. I promise to raise her well, I promise that she will grow up with so much love and affection from me because I learned from you how amazing a mother's love is."
Three months after, I went back to Seoul and continued studying with the same career path that I started before. Though aunt Soo Yeon volunteered to pay for my tuition and told me to pursue Law, I still insisted to continue the business program. In my next life, I will make sure to become a lawyer.
Although aunt Soo Yeon is letting us use her apartment and volunteered to support Hyunjoo and I until I graduate, find a job, and earn a stable income, I still wanted to work for us. Because I am not just a mere college student, I'm also a mother and it will hurt my pride if I will just let aunt Soo Yeon do everything for us.
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Midnight Walk (Mark Tuan Short Story)
Fanfiction"Soulmates don't leave each other." Six years ago, Cha Eun was a college girl and Mark was a trainee. Six years later, the brightest part of her youth became one of the stars. Cha Eun and Mark were inexplicably bonded and drawn by forces beyond th...
