⌗ chasing hearts | meanie

jump

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tw: suicidal thoughts
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"so, we're really leaving without mingyu?" junhui questioned, them almost to head out the campus grounds. "well-" jeonghan made a thinking for a while. "we could just get him at the rooftop, as wonwoo had said." soonyoung continued his sentence.

"youre really still believing that guy?"

"no! but he seemed to be saying the truth-i mean, theres nothing to lose if we check it, right?" he added. "hm true." minghao agreed. "ugh fine. we'll get mingyu at the rooftop, then leave. but we're not doing this because of wonwoo. got it?" jeonghan says, the boys nodding in response. "okay lets go." all of them headed back in to the school, rushing up to the rooftop as they said.

and wonwoo himself had already managed to finally head up to the roof-after weeping on those papers. he rushed to the rooftop above, just to be in time to be there before mingyu does anything. "m-mingyu!" he called out to the younger who was nearer to the ledge. "w-wonwoo? what are y-you doing here?"

"mingyu please. dont do this. theres another way to resolve your problems-our problems. ill do anything. just-dont leave me again, please."

"i-im sorry, hyung. but theres just no other way." mingyu took one more step back, which made wonwoo step closer as he reached out his hand for the boy to grab-yet he didnt. "there is, gyu. theres always a way."

mingyu hesitated, and took one more step aback. "please. i cant bare to see you hurting yourself because of me any longer. i-i"

"im sorry, mingyu. ive been an asshole all this time. youve been so good to me that i dont even deserve any of your kindnesses to me. i dont deserve your love. nor does anyone deserve to love me. im just a shithead that cant do a thing right." wonwoo poured himself harsh words-that were facts for him. "d-dont say that, hyung."

"yes. because i am, those. but youre not. so please, dont do this. save yourself. run away, from me. before i can hurt you more. but i dont want you to run away. i want you-to be here." as wonwoo saddens up, mingyu's eyes started to bathe in his tears. "wonwoo-"

"im so fucking sorry, gyu. you dont deserve this. even if i try to change, im still that motherfucker asshat i was born to be."

"hyung please dont say that. everyone makes mistakes, i know. i was just-i just thought you really had changed. which hurted me most. but its okay. because everything will end now. we wont hurt each other longer. so i have to do this. i need to." mingyu said in quite a distance. "but gyu-"

"mingyu!" jeonghan and the boys blasted out from the iron door of the rooftop. "what are you doing?! come here! youll fall off!"

"hyungs-"

"mingyu please dont do this. we've talked about it already. and youve made a promise, right?" minghao says, tearing. "i-im sorry, hao. i just-cant." mingyu stuttered, tears rolling from his cheeks. "no, mingyu. dont end your life this way. not when ive spent these memorable times with you." junhui said in a weary-like voice. "gyu please dont! i know what youve been through, and its okay. everything will be okay, really. so dont do this, please?" soonyoung yelled in a worry.

"hyung- p-please, come to us. d-dont jump off." chan sobs into hansol's arms. "mingyu-hyung, you know, i remember the time you borrowed my scissors. a-and i knew that i made the wrong choice of lending them to you. dont do this, please." hansol held in his tears, shaking his head. "this is not one way to resolve your problems, mingyu. its only a way to run away from them. come back. we'll fix things together." jisoo spoke in a loud voice.

mingyu listens to each of the boys' words-realizing the boys' care for him. but it wasnt enough much to remove from his mind the thought of falling to death.

"gyu, we can fix things. i-i know we can." wonwoo speaks with insisting hands gesturing mingyu to come closer to them. "no. theres no w-way. everythings just a fucking mess. and i dont want to mess things up more."

"i know. but you arent making a mess. i am. so please, come to us. we'll change everything. we can be-happy again. like before. isnt that what you wanted?"

mingyu gives wonwoo's question a think, knowing that even though he wanted to end everything, he'd still want wonwoo in his life. and that wont happen if he falls. "mingyu, trust me. for once, i believe things can change. so trust me." wonwoo had his eyes full with urge and concern as mingyu steps back once more.

"i-i just cant. im sorry."

mingyu steps back widely, making the others gasp in fear-and some cry in pain with the boy almost stumbling off the ledge. "gyu this isnt the way. youve promised me you wont do this anymore. and ive told you theres still countless people who needs you in this world. and we're one of them. can you please keep that promise at least?" minghao stepped upfront-pleading with his eyes.

no.

"mingyu if this isnt enough, then i-i dont know what else would make you stay. i dont want anyone more to die like this. so for this fucking world's sake, dont do it." jihoon adds. "no. i cant. i just really cant. not only because of-everything. but because ive also been an asshole myself. ive always been a coward, a fool, who stupidly loved his best friend." wonwoo felt shamelessly guilty after hearing mingyu's words.

"i never really thought what love was like. until i met, wonwoo. and yet i havent gone to the fact that i know he wouldnt love me the same. but thats ok. its ok. but now, it just-feels so much different. thats why i think i need to do this. because i couldnt want more for us to hurt each other, hyung. and i think its time for things to end." he sighed, looking down, with a deep frown.

"mingyu- no. this isnt your fault, its mine. and im the one who should be doing that. but i wont. because i know we can be rejoiced again, together, mingyu. and it was such foolish for me not to realize the things youve done for me. but now, i do. and i regret every bit of a second that i havent noticed those." he stepped a bit closer to the boy. "but we wont. cause i wont be there."

"thats the point! but you have to be here. with me. because with you gone, i dont think i could live my life the way i am now. but if youre here, i know that extreme joy is ahead for the both of us in the future. even though we may hurt each other at some point, its ok. at least your by my side, gyu. so promise me, promise me that we will fulfill that. at least keep this promise, hm?" wonwoo said, water filling his eyes-making his glasses fog up.

"i still cant. i know ill hurt you. i really do. but you dont deserve to be hurt, won. so im s-sorry." mingyu took one large step back, making him stumble on the ledge. and with one move of his feet, he may fall off already. crying voices from the rooftop echoed as mingyu had almost committed himself death. wonwoo's feet quickly moved closer towards the boy-ready to grab him in.

"mingyu-! i-i."