Imperfectly Perfect

Prologue

Mishti.

It is crowded. The place is crowded and I could not hear any noise. I'm somewhere I know. The place I'm walking in is familiar so is the one holding my hand. He is holding my hand and taking me somewhere. It is the school and I think we are wearing our high school uniform and going inside or somewhere I have no idea. But we are walking and walking so fast. I feel extremely cold inside and literally shivering, yet my hands are sweating. I'm nervous. For what? I don't know. We are still walking straight between the students I guess. And finally I wanted to know where we are going, I look up to him. His hair, his eyes. The face. The face I knew. The face I could never forget. Him.

He seems to be serious and I can say he is searching for something in there. Finally we stop walking and he looks down at me with a beautiful smile that I have ever seen from him. He holds my hand tightly and gestures to look at something at the other side. I turn to see it but suddenly there is huge noise and everyone there are shouting. Alarmed, I use my hands to cover my ears and swiftly sit down with the eyes shut tight. He is shaking me by my arms. Black.  

When I open my eyes, Kuhu is trying to wake me up by literally slapping me on my face. I sit up quickly to avoid the damage.

"Mishti, What the hell happened to you?" She asks me horrified. What happened to me?

"What happened?" I say. And I'm still in my 'affect effects of my frequent dreams'.

"You were twisting and turning in your sleep and it was like you couldn't breath. I was scared" Truly she seems scared. Oh my god, seriously?

"Nothing I'm fine. It was just a dream" Just a dream, who am I kidding.

"Are you sure, I mean it was different for me to see you this way. You kinda never did like this before" She expresses sincerely, but wait what did I do? Dreaming is the usual thing to me now.

"What did I do?" I feel exhausted after nearly five hours of sleep and the stupid dreams of mine. 

She is saying something and again I'm lost in the thoughts.

Finally she says "Forget it, now take your time and get ready. Its still early we have lot of time." Lot of time? For me?

She continues, " And yeah whatever is bothering you, its gonna be fine, okay?"  Yeah I wish the same. It can be fine. It will be. 

"Yes and Thank you for being there for me" I say from my heart. She has no idea how much I love her and what she means to me. Kuhu simply smiles and kisses my hand and mouths 'ILoveYou'.  

I feel extremely grateful that I got a friend like her maybe sometime I don't. But mostly I'm lucky in that way at least. Thank you god. Kuhu has not only been my best friend, but is everything to me. The mother hen of mine. I haven't missed my family much only because of her. And it was only because of her that I'm in here, the other part of the country from my home. Even though I miss them its fine now since I've been missing everything and everyone lately.

Kuhu moves out of my small room closing the door behind. Maybe she knew I'm still in another world like I'm always. I still haven't got used to staying alone in a separate room. It's scary. Its different. But I kind of like this now even after getting sleep less then four to five hours. Maybe it will be fine with days passing.

I feel lonely again. I wanted to move on with the new life but my stupid heart is still struck on to the years before. I've tried my level best to forget the things that happened in the past which never seems to happen. And I couldn't handle it. The time is running and I'm doing nothing. I feel I have nothing to do in life. I don't have any reason to get up and do something for myself. Something that I love. I miss him. Again. I don't want him to see or date someone. The thought make me anxious. I realize my cheeks are wet and I'm crying. Wow, what a way to start a Monday.

Cursing myself I get up from the bed and look at myself in the mirror. The Mishti I knew wasn't there anymore. My face lost its color, its dull because of the stress and the pollution in the new city. Dark circles under my eyes. Lips are dry due to the lack of hydration and my straight hair is a mess. Its tangled like my life.

I look like a zombie in the movies. And I instantly remember why Kuhu was so scared. The thought makes me chuckle. See even in my thoughts only she makes me better. I have to be better for her and my family. Self Motivation is necessary for the living.

After showering and following the possible skin care routine I dress up myself in simple pant and a kurta for the class. It is still early so I decide to invest more time on my face to make it little better with the concealer and eyeliner.

Kuhu calls me for the breakfast, it's time to leave the place. We study in the same institution where I study masters in business administration and she computer applications. We live in the same apartment after the great struggle of convincing my parents to allow me for the education out of my hometown.

We quickly have the breakfast and I talk to my father about the routine of the week and he complains about my mother how she isn't taking care of him like me. He doesn't leave an opportunity to call me back. After the conversation, I feel guilty for leaving them and then again what I did was necessary for me and as well as to them too. Being around them for 24/7 made me too dependent on them and I don't want them to take me for granted which they do most of the time. This isn't something healthy for either side. The change was important.

With the thoughts I move out of the apartment with my bestfriend. I've barely talked to her since the morning. Its time to face her and of course the outside world which is still new to me after nearly a month. Oh its going to be a month. Perfect.
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Hey guys, meet Mishti she isn't strong as the world thinks she is but she isn't the coward either.

This is the very first attempt for me in the writing. So, please forgive me for the mistakes and I would love to learn in here from the mistakes. The stories I read in here are so inspiring that I wanted to write one. And also Its been a while without Mishbir too. So this is for Mishbir love.

Lots of love.